Speaking French
by brwrites
Summary: There's a reason why Emily doesn't do well in French class. Fetus Emison. Multi-chapter
1. Un

**A/N: I'm back! I'm strongly considering making this a two-shot because there are three more scenes I really want to write that would come after this part chronologically. Please let me know in the reviews if you think I should add a part two. I think all the French in the story is translated, but feel free to open Google Translate in another tab it you want :) Hope y'all enjoy since there's no Emison on the show lately**

* * *

 _January 2009_

"Why French?" Emily asked as she watched her new class schedule slide out of the printer.

When Alison announced she would change their classes to align with each other's, she hadn't quite expected her friend to go through with it. Yet here they were, hunched over a computer in the counseling suite on the first day of spring semester. Emily was in charge of keeping watch while Alison inputted new classes into the system.

"Why not French?" Alison asked, raising an eyebrow at Emily.

"Spanish seems way more useful. I don't know of any native French speakers in suburban Pennsylvania," Emily answered, still looking over the schedule.

Alison brushed off her reasoning with a dismissive wave. "Please, even if you did take Spanish, it's not like you would retain any of it after finals. It's too dull. French is a classier language than Spanish and Paris is far more exciting than Rosewood could ever dream of being."

"You sound like you're planning a trip," Emily mused. She tilted her head to look quizzically at the other girl.

Alison smiled at her, but it wasn't the honest, heart-warming smile the brunette loved to see from her in moments when they were alone. It was too close to a smirk and there was an unmistakable glint in her eyes. Emily knew what would come next.

"You know, Paris is the city of romance," Alison said, curling the syllables just enough to sound flirtatious. She looked up at her friend from under long lashes. Beneath the feigned innocence, her expression was bold. _Say something, Em,_ her eyes said. _I dare you._

"Oh," Emily squeaked. Her thoughts were rushing by too fast to form an intelligible response. Blushing furiously, she turned toward the door before she could humiliate herself any further.

"L-lunch is almost over," she said, hastily changing the subject. "The counselor will be back any minute."

From the corner of her eye, Emily could see Alison's smirk fall away. She stared at the brunette for another minute, waiting or searching for something. Then she muttered, "almost done," and continued tapping at the keyboard. While she typed, Em tried to calm her nerves and convince herself that the brief exchange meant nothing. It was best to drop it and move on.

Being friends with Alison DiLaurentis was something Emily could never quite get used to. It was a rollercoaster experience, full of ups and downs and surprise twists, but the lowest lows could never overshadow the exhilaration that came from being in Ali's group; being able to talk to her, laugh with her, _be_ with her, even if only as a friend.

Each passing day made it harder to convince herself she didn't crave more than friendship from the other girl. By now she didn't believe her own lies. Obviously Alison didn't either. She was well aware of the effect she had on the brunette. The thing was, Ali was never direct when it came to secrets. She always danced around them, saying just enough to drive one person crazy while others scratched their heads in confusion. And worse, her actions were completely unpredictable. She was explosive like a firecracker; stunning yet dangerous to be close to.

Emily knew this, yet she still prided herself in being the one closest to Ali. Sometimes, when she was lucky, she got to see sides of Alison no one else was allowed to know about.

"Ready for class?" Ali asked once she had printed her own brightly-colored schedule.

Emily felt her muscles relax when it was clear Ali had given up on teasing. "I'm not sure I'm ready for French. I don't even have the textbook," she answered, frowning.

"Then we'll share mine. You'll be fine, ma chère" Alison said, linking arms with Emily. The brunette smiled against her will. Out in the crowded hallway, upperclassmen parted to let them pass as if they'd been given orders.

Maybe, with Alison by her side, French class wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

 _March 2009_

Introductory French was simultaneously the best and worst part of Emily's daily schedule. She didn't particularly like the language. Verb tenses were difficult to memorize and each word she attempted to pronounce came out sounding stilted and unnatural.

Class would be completely unbearable if she didn't sit next to Alison. For this hour each day, Emily had her friend's undivided attention. It was more than having a listening ear and a person to talk to; Ali _showered_ her with affection she would never dare to show in front of their other friends. It took Emily off guard at first, but she was quickly learning to soak up every bit of it while it lasted.

That was probably the reason French was so hard to grasp. Alison was definitely a distraction.

Today was no exception.

Ali leaned over onto Emily's desk and doodled on her notebook while the teacher droned on about the verb avoir in a heavy accent. Emily picked up a pen to write down the verb chart and found her eyes drifting to what Alison was writing on the opposite page. There was a little Eiffel Tower drawing, the name _Alison DiLaurentis_ written in curly cursive about ten times, and a French phrase Emily didn't recognize.

"What does that mean?" Emily whispered, pointing to the phrase.

"That's for you to figure out," Ali winked. Leaning against Emily's arm, she continued adding details to her Eiffel Tower drawing. Somehow she could completely block out the teacher and still manage to make A's on her quizzes.

Emily was far past questioning how Ali could be successful in whatever she set her mind to with less than half the effort everyone else had to put in. It was easier to simply admire her, watch the slight smile on her lips as she concentrated on her doodle. After a few seconds, she looked up, brushing a blonde curl behind her ear, and asked, "So, are you going to figure it out or not? I'm waiting."

Blushing, Emily nodded and looked down at the words Alison had written. _Mon meilleure amie a_ _de très beaux yeux_ _._

"Amie means friend," Emily said quietly as she scrutinized the sentence. "Wait…doesn't belle mean beautiful like for a girl and beaux is handsome for a guy?"

Ali barely suppressed a giggle. "No, not quite."

"Just tell me, please?" Emily looked at her helplessly, knowing that the injured puppy dog expression sometimes made Ali give in.

"Ugh, fine. I'll spell it out for you," Alison relented. Taking the pen in her hand again, she wrote _My best friend has_ _very_ _beautiful eyes._

She turned back to Emily after, waiting expectantly for a response. The swimmer furrowed her brows, unable to make sense of the words until something clicked in her brain and the realization hit her- oh!

"My eyes?" Emily asked. The way Alison was watching her set off a nervous, fluttery feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Mademoiselle Fields, could you share with us your response to number four on page quatre-vingt deux?" the teacher interrupted.

Just like that, her attention was diverted. A surge of panic rushed to her head as she frantically flipped through textbook pages.

The teacher looked pleased with herself for having caught her off guard. "In case you missed it, the assignment was to translate 'I am scared'."

I am. Partial relief surged over her at the words. Practically everything they had translated so far in class used the same basic structure. "Je suis…peur?" Emily answered hesitantly, struggling with the final word.

"Incorrect!" the teacher called out louder than what was necessary. Emily flinched in her seat and looked away from her classmates' amused gazes.

"If you were listening, you would know we're using the verb avoir, not être. The correct answer is 'j'ai peur'. And peur is not pronounced like the sound cats make."

"Sorry, Madame. I'll try to remember that next time," Emily sighed, sinking into her seat as if leaning back far enough could make her disappear.

"What a bitch," Alison whispered after the older woman went back to teaching. She crinkled her nose like she smelled something awful. "That woman needs a hobby that doesn't involve tormenting fifteen-year-olds. It's pathetic."

"I should've been paying attention," Emily muttered, still staring forward at the dry erase board. She didn't dare look away now. Not when it would give the teacher a chance to embarrass her further.

Ali leaned close to her ear and said, "Sorry for distracting you, ma sirène. But I can't say it wasn't fun."

Emily knew she shouldn't engage in whatever Ali was saying, but class was winding down and the French words she used always left the brunette with a burning curiosity. She was hopelessly entrapped by this girl. As much as she wished she could get through a single class without being drawn in by the mysterious blonde, she knew it was a battle she'd lost long ago.

"Ma sirène?" Emily asked, still staring forward. "I thought I was your chère."

"I looked up a new word. And, no, I'm not spelling this one out for you," Alison said.

The bell rang- finally- and the room filled with the sound of chairs being pushed in. "Don't forget to pick up your progress reports. Only two weeks to bring these grades up!" the teacher yelled before students could scramble out the door.

Emily grabbed hers on the way out, ignoring the pointed look she got from her instructor. Her eyes flew to her printed grade and she felt a stab of disappointment.

"How'd you do?" Alison asked after they'd met up with Spencer outside the classroom.

"Not great," Emily said, deciding not to go into specifics. "At least I won't have to deal with my mom since this isn't the real report card."

"Let me see," Ali said, taking the paper from her hand. Spencer hovered behind Alison's shoulders to read it and her brown eyes widened.

"Ouch," Spencer said.

"It's not that bad," Emily defended herself.

"It's a C, and a low one at that. You can't call it good," Spencer reasoned, as expected. Nothing less than an A was in the Hastings vocabulary.

Emily sighed loudly and grabbed the progress report out of Alison's hands. "We can't all be geniuses, Spencer."

"Don't be so quick to judge, Spence," Ali said. "You don't even know the teacher. She's completely unreasonable and she has a personal vendetta against Em."

"Wait, really?" Spencer asked, narrowing her eyes. "If there's evidence of unfair treatment I can get my parents involved and-"

"That's not necessary!" Emily cut her off. "Madame isn't the best person, but…"

"She's a bitch. Go on Em, you can say it," Ali told her.

"Okay. She's a bitch…but she only calls me out when I'm not paying attention, so it's not like we can build a case against her. I'll be fine. I just need to do better on the next test."

"You will," Ali said, resting a hand on her arm. "I can tutor you."

"Why you? I'm the one who actually volunteers in the tutoring center," Spencer remarked.

It was a harmless comment in Emily's opinion, but judging by the way Alison snapped her head toward Spencer and glared, it may as well have been a personal threat. That was another thing about Ali. You had to be careful with your words around her. It was strange how Spencer could be so intelligent yet struggle with understanding that simple rule.

"Believe it or not, you're not the only one who's smart here. I don't have to be a super nerd to be good at French, so yeah, I can handle it," she spat at the taller brunette.

Spencer took the cue to back off before it escalated. "Jesus, okay, Ali. You can tutor her," she said, holding up two hands in surrender. Neither of them asked Emily her opinion. As with most things, it had already been decided for her.

"I have swim practice every day at five," Emily reminded them. One way or another, she needed to be part of this conversation.

"That still gives us plenty of time after school lets out. Meet me at the Brew at three," Ali decided, phrasing her words in a way that left little room for disagreement.

As usual, Emily decided to comply. The path of least conflict was always the easiest to take.

* * *

The Brew was always overflowing with students from Rosewood High. It was one of the few hang-out spots in town and the only one easily accessible to freshman who couldn't drive. From outside, Emily could see that the table her friends usually claimed was already taken by a group of sophomore cheerleaders. She stepped in, schoolbag in tow, and settled at a different spot by the window, just big enough for two people to sit.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she eagerly checked it, expecting it to be Alison. Instead she saw Ben's name and her smile faded. As she typed out a generic message asking him how his day was, she tried to bite back the guilty feeling constricting her throat.

Or maybe the feeling was something deeper than guilt; something closer to shame. Normal people don't forget they have boyfriends. She should be happy when reading texts from Ben, not anxious. She should think about him more. Whenever she tried, her thoughts always drifted to someone with fairer skin, long blonde curls, and unfaltering confidence that could strike fear into an entire crowd.

In her heart of hearts, Emily knew exactly why she would never love Ben, no matter how hard she tried. It was a truth she'd never asked for. One she didn't yet know how to handle. She couldn't even say the word out loud…

The bell on the door chimed when Alison stepped into the coffee shop. Emily ducked her head, immediately feeling disgusted with herself for noticing Ali's short skirt and for admiring how the girl walked with her head held high- so sure of herself all the time.

She looked up briefly and saw Ali's eyes flash to her, then to their usual table. Without another look in the swimmer's direction, Alison marched over to the group of cheerleaders to reclaim their spot.

Emily looked down again, doing her best to block out Ali's verbal threats. She had an acidic tongue and wasn't afraid to use it. It was uncomfortable to listen to, and Em had the urge to plead her to be just a little nicer. All the while, she wondered why she was the one who was spared Ali's temper.

Soon the sophomores were on their way out the door. One of the girls stopped in her tracks and turned back to face Alison. "You win this time, your majesty, but don't think your reign here is going to last forever. You'll get what's coming to you. I've already heard of plans."

Alison stood in place, arms crossed. "Oh honey, don't hold your breath. I'm not going anywhere. Unlike you, I don't throw around empty threats. I suggest you leave now, unless you want Daddy to find out about your little trip to Planned Parenthood."

The cheerleader cursed under her breath and walked out after one last glare in the queen bee's direction. Alison looked proud of herself. Emily tried not to let her disappointment in the girl's actions show through her body language. She chose to focus on transferring her books to the new table.

Ali ran a hand through her locks as she sat down. "I swear, cheerleaders exist just to fulfill the dumb blonde stereotype."

"I guess," Emily said, shrugging. "Can we start studying? I don't want to be late for practice."

The blonde rested her chin on her hands and looked at Emily intently. With a furrowed brow, she glanced at the door the cheerleaders had just exited through. Gears were spinning in her head and she was quickly able to detect the reason behind her friend's lack of enthusiasm.

Alison let out a tiny sigh. All traces of satisfaction were gone. Clearing her throat, she pulled a pink binder out of her purse. "Yeah, we should start."

She laid three sheets of paper side by side on the glossy surface of the table. "I made some cheat sheets for you during study hall. The main things you need to know besides vocabulary are verb structures. There's –er, –ir, and –re verbs, plus être and avoir. Most of them follow these patterns, see?" she said, gesturing at the notes she'd written.

Truthfully, Emily was a little surprised Ali had taken this seriously. It warmed her heart, made her feel fuzzy, that she had done this to help her. This was her Ali, and she was completely different from the girl who had just blackmailed somebody over a stupid table.

Emily gave her friend a warm smile and rewrote some of the examples in her own notebook. "I wish Madame would lay everything out like this. It makes it so much easier." She paused, then added, "I really appreciate this, Ali."

"Of course. Anything for you," Alison said, beaming back. "Here, let's translate 'you like to swim'. You need to use a second person ending. Don't forget the last verb is an infinitive, so you don't conjugate it."

Emily looked at the verb charts Ali had provided. Aimer was the verb for "to like". Drop the –er ending and add an –es. Leave the infinitive to swim alone. Taking a pencil in her hand, Emily wrote, _Tu aimes nager_. She read it out loud for Alison, sounding out the words phonetically.

"Too aims nager."

Ali stifled a laugh. "Well, you're not wrong. The pronunciation is a little off, but it sounds a lot cuter the way you say it."

"Madame isn't going to think it's cute when I fail the oral exam," Emily said, ignoring the heat that pooled in her cheeks.

"Don't be so dramatic. We'll work on that another day," Ali brushed off her concerns. "How about this one? _Alison regarde très belle aujourd'hui._ Can you translate that to English?"

Emily may not have excelled in French, but she recognized enough of those words to know where Ali was going with this. She couldn't meet Alison's blue eyes. The feeling of discomfort was back, gnawing at her stomach. Slight guilt and fear and a lot of confusion.

Alison had to be toying with her. She was undeniably straight, so why did she have to keep coercing Emily into these situations? What was the point of writing letters about how beautiful Emily's eyes are on her notebook and getting her all flustered and trying to make her flirt back? It had to be a game. She couldn't be serious, right?

Ali was giving her that bold, daring look she could never escape. _Say it, Em. I bet you won't._

Whatever her motives were, Emily could prove her wrong. Today she would accept the dare. "You look beautiful today, Alison," she said, sitting up straighter and staring across at the fair-skinned girl.

Em watched as Ali blinked in surprise. She hadn't actually expected her friend to say it, but once the words were out, she gave the brunette a smug smile. "As always. Right, Em?"

She was deeper in the game now and she needed another move. Emily swallowed back the lump in her throat and felt her heart hammer in her chest. "It's ironic that you're the one tutoring me in French."

"How so?" Ali asked as she twirled a strand of her hair.

"We both know you're the reason I have a C in the class," Emily answered honestly. She was doing her best to keep her eyes on Alison. To not look scared.

"I thought you liked my little notes," the girl responded with a fake pout. "I've been wanting you to write some for me but you won't take the hint."

"I-I don't know French. I can't write notes." It wasn't what Emily had intended on saying, and it sounded so lame it made Emily cringe. She was growing more nervous by the second and Ali was as composed as ever.

"Last time I checked, you were fully capable of writing in English," Ali said. The gleam was back in her eyes and she leaned over the table, inching closer to Emily. "I've shared my thoughts. I wanna know yours."

"Something tells me you already know," Emily said weakly.

It was the closest she'd ever come to acknowledging her feelings outside of the safety of her own thoughts. Looking down at her hands, Emily found they were trembling. This wasn't liberating; it was terrifying, and her conscience screamed for her to stop before she said too much. "Can we not do this right now?" she asked, hoping Alison would understand what she meant.

Ali groaned in response. "Come on, Em. I was just…" the blonde trailed off, deciding against whatever she planned on saying. Emily was grateful for that. She didn't know if she could handle it if the next word would've been kidding.

"You know what?" Ali started again, gently this time. "You can take the cheat sheets home and memorize them. We'll do this again another day and actually study. For now we can just talk, if you want. Kill time."

"I'd like that," Emily said meekly. "I like just talking to you. Like how we normally do."

"Okay," Ali agreed with a feeble smile. "Before we leave French behind entirely, I wanted to ask if you looked up that word yet."

"Masirène? No, not yet, but I will."

"Just sirène. Good. You should do that," Ali said. She rested her chin on her hands again and looked out the window thoughtfully. "Maybe that's how I'll teach you vocabulary. I'll give you a new word every class."

"Where do you find all these words, anyway? You're way ahead of the rest of the class," Emily laughed.

"I have my ways. If I'm going to get to Paris someday, I have to be prepared," she said. "Even though literally any place is more ideal than Rosewood, I say go big or go home."

"I know you love Paris. When you talk about it, you seem…different," Emily decided. Alison raised a questioning eyebrow, so she elaborated. "It's a good different. You're not as hyperaware of everything around you. It's like you're mentally there in France, and you could go on about every part of it for hours and hours. I don't know, I just like listening because you're so passionate about it."

Emily didn't say it, but she could listen to Alison talk for hours and hours on almost any topic that didn't involve other people at school. She wanted to know all her quirks and favorites and passions. What was the first place that made her feel at peace? What movie would she watch to feel better when life got her down? She wanted to dig past the superficial. Whenever Em got a glimpse of the girl beneath the ice queen mask, it was hard to not to hold onto her.

She was perfectly content to sit in the Brew and listen to Alison tell her about everything Parisian, from shops to quaint gardens to the Louvre. The conversation went on until it was almost time for Emily to get back to school and change for swim practice.

The two of them hugged goodbye, as always. Emily was always careful not to linger into an embrace for too long, but she made sure to revel in every second of it. The scent of Ali's eucalyptus spearmint lotion was intoxicating. The brunette allowed herself to shut her eyes for just a second before she would have to pull away.

It caught her off-guard when Ali pulled back first. It startled her even more when Alison leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek and caught the corner of her lips.

Her heart jumped and her first instinct was to rapidly look around the coffee shop, make sure no one had seen and misinterpreted whatever just happened. Finally, she faced Alison, fully expecting the girl to be wearing her usual smirk.

She wasn't. Her expression was unreadable as she met Emily's eyes and touched a finger to her own lips. The gears in her brain were obviously spinning. Emily couldn't tell what she was thinking, and that made her beyond nervous.

Finally, she spoke. "Once the weather gets a little warmer, I should take you and the girls to the lake. There's a place nearby that I want to show you, but you can't tell anyone about it. It has to be our secret."

Emily struggled to speak over the lump in her throat. "Okay. You know you can trust me. I won't tell." Looking down at her phone, she added, "I really have to go now or Coach will be mad. Bye, Ali."

"Bye, Em. Text me later."

With a final nod, Emily escaped the Brew as quickly as she could and hopped on her bike. She wasn't sure whether she was riding to school or riding away from her confusion. Nothing made sense. Not Alison's actions, not her own jumbled thoughts. She could hardly think as she pedaled on her bike, but she couldn't fight the feeling that this was a turning point for her.

She either had to dive in right now and explore her feelings or back off completely. This in-between wasn't working.

At practice, she cleared her head completely, focusing only on her laps and time. She stayed in the pool far past the end of practice, cutting through water until a maintenance man tapped her head as she came up for breath and told her she had to leave.

Emily sent a text to her mom once she was in the locker room, telling her she would be home soon. Her gaze settled on the Internet app. She didn't have the new iPhone like Alison and Spencer. Internet access wasn't included in the phone service and her mom would probably have a fit over being charged for it, but Emily couldn't keep from clicking on it.

She went straight to Google Translate and typed in two words: _Ma sirène_

Translation: _My mermaid_


	2. Deux

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I've been gone for over a month. Life has been intense since July 4th, and not in a good way. I kind of forgot about updating until I got 3 lovely new reviews this week. I noticed some people wanted me to make this more than two chapters so I'm trying to expand it and give it more of a plot while keeping the French theme :) There won't be, like, 10 chapters, but there will be more than two and I'll try not to make you wait too long.**

 **One thing though- I need opinions on the direction of the story. Should I do a time jump to after Ali's disappearance (this was my original plan), or should I make it more AU and disregard the 2-year disappearance entirely?**

* * *

 _April 2009_

Alison stared at the Word document in front of her. Normally, a two-page essay would take no time at all to write, but today there was something else weighing on her mind.

Crafting a persona, forming allies, storing secrets to keep enemies in check- all of that was easy for her. Maintaining her perfect life was the hard part. The power structure which she thrived on was so fragile. She had to be hyperaware of even the slightest changes in the people around her. Especially when those changes were in the people she valued the most.

Emily was standing on the other side of the Fields' kitchen, her back to the blonde, like she was trying her hardest to keep her distance. Like she would rather be anywhere else in the world than here, working on a French project with Alison.

The girl had been distant for a couple weeks now. She was drawing back into the shell Ali had been working hard to pry her out of. Ali was willing to give her some space at first, but she wasn't exactly a patient person. Each day that went by without a real conversation between them only added to the fear that she was losing her mermaid for good.

Ali twisted a ring around her finger and tried to chase away the paranoid thoughts. _Of course_ Emily wouldn't leave her. She was probably the only one who cared enough to stick around. If she could help Emily get over her fears, they would become inseparable again and the universe would be back in order.

She closed the laptop in front of her, choosing to step away from the half-written report. The two of them had decided right away that Ali should handle the written part of their project on French cuisine while Emily prepared the food to bring to class. French may have come easily to Alison, but cooking definitely didn't.

She walked across the kitchen and leaned against the countertop, watching quietly as Emily glazed chocolate on top of a row of éclairs. "You need to teach me how to cook sometime. Without my mom around I'm way too dependent on take-out menus," Ali said.

"Trust me, it's not difficult if you have a recipe to follow," Emily responded, keeping her eyes on the pastries in front of her. "Do you think these look okay? I think they're a little lopsided."

"Nonsense. _Le dessert regarde parfait_ ," Ali said as she reached out to take one. "Tastes perfect, too," she added after taking a bite.

The corners of Emily's lips twitched up into a smile and she finally turned to look at her friend. "Hey, don't eat too many! We need enough for the whole class."

"I'm not going to eat all of them! Who do I look like, Hanna?" Ali almost snorted.

Em's expression clouded over after the words were out and Alison felt a pang of regret. She couldn't take the comment back now. Why did her Emily's disappointment even eat away at her like this? That never used to happen. She wasn't supposed to care what others thought.

"We should have enough," Emily said in a soft voice, not commenting on the remark against Hanna.

Ali nodded slowly. Her eyes fell from the girl beside her down to the desserts. "You should pack up a bunch of éclairs and give them to Madame," she said in an attempt to steer the conversation in a better direction. "Maybe that will get you into her good graces."

"Maybe," Emily shrugged. "I don't know. I think she made up her mind about me the first week of class. Opinions are hard to change."

Alison placed a comforting hand on her friend's arm. "Hey, if only one person in the whole world doesn't like you, it must mean you're doing something right."

Emily's dark brown eyes met hers. "You're doing something right, too. Everyone loves you."

It felt nice to hear those words, even if they weren't true. She knew Emily wholeheartedly believed them. She was optimistic to a fault. It was an unrealistic way of thinking, even dangerous, but Ali couldn't bear to replace the light inside of her with shadows.

"It's sweet that you believe that," Ali said gently. "I consider it more of a love-hate relationship."

"I think it's love-fear, not love-hate," Emily stated. "You can be afraid of someone and still like them. It's not mutually exclusive." She looked nervous as she brushed a piece of dark hair behind her ear, accidentally smudging a bit of flour from the countertop on her forehead in the process.

"Oh really?" Ali asked, holding back a laugh as she moved directly in front of Em and reached out to rub away the flour. Her hand went to the girl's hair automatically, brushing through locks before she could even think about whether it was a good idea. "Do I scare you?" she asked in a low voice.

"No. Of course not," Emily responded, though her unsteady voice and shallow breathing said otherwise.

"So if your relationship with me isn't love-fear, then what would you call it?" Ali asked, raising an eyebrow. Her heart thumped as she waited for Emily's answer.

"I don't know, Ali," Emily said quickly. Her cheeks flushed as she took a step back, away from the blonde. "We're…best friends. Friendship is a type of relationship. "

"Friendship. OK," Ali rolled her eyes. "I was expecting something a little more creative." _And honest_ , she added in her thoughts.

Emily shook her head. "Then how about you come up with something better? You always…" she trailed off, ending with a sigh.

"I always what?"

"You always put me in these situations," Emily finished. "You're expecting me to say something, and we both know what it is, but is the truth really going to make you any happier? Is it going to change anything?"

"It could change a lot. You never know," Ali offered.

"I don't know what you want from me," Emily admitted.

Ali furrowed her eyebrows and let that sink in. What _did_ she want from Emily, besides wanting to keep her close? "I want you to be brave," she decided on the spot. Emily could be a force of nature if she wasn't afraid. "If you leave your comfort zone, you could have the world and more. Anything you want."

Alison then grudgingly added, "And I don't want you to be scared of me. I really don't."

"I'm not scared of you," Emily repeated. "Not really. You just make me nervous sometimes."

"I can tell," Alison muttered. "You haven't been subtle about avoiding me. Seriously, you'd think I had a deadly disease."

"It's not like that, Ali," Emily sighed again. She paused to collect her thoughts. For a few moments, the only sound was the ticking of an old clock that hung above the stove. "No matter what happens, or how nervous I get, you're still my favorite person. I promise nothing's going to change that," she said finally, offering the blonde a shy smile.

There it was again; that tender, affectionate feeling that made her heart swell. Ali couldn't let herself consider what it meant. She couldn't even vocalize what she really wanted to say: _You're my favorite person, too_. If they were in class, she might have written the words in Em's notebook- in French, of course. She might have even thrown in flirty glances and nudged the swimmer's side as she guessed what the words meant. It felt safer that way, without the seriousness of their current conversation.

"That's nice to hear. We make a good team, you and I," she said instead.

"Definitely," Emily agreed. "I couldn't do this French project without you." Her warm brown eyes flitted to the leftover flour on the counter. She cupped a small amount into her hand and, before Ali could even register what was happening, she'd already thrown it in her direction.

The brunette erupted into laughter when she saw the queen bee's horrified expression. "Oh my God, I'm going to kill you!" Alison cried as she furiously dusted the powder off of her pale pink sundress, but the reality was she was laughing, too.

She grabbed some more flour and threw it toward Emily. Some got on her, but most of it ended up on the kitchen floor. The rest swirled around in the air like a dust storm.

"What's going on in here?" a voice asked. Both girls turned to see Mrs. Fields standing near the entrance of the kitchen, a basket of laundry in her arms. "It sounds like a lot of excitement."

"We were just finishing up the éclairs," Emily said as she brushed some flour off her arm.

Ali almost expected Mrs. Fields to get mad about the flour situation because she came across as the uptight, no-nonsense type of parent. To her surprise, the older woman simply shook her head at the scene in front of her. "Okay, just make sure you sweep the floor when you're done. It's a nice day outside. Maybe you girls should go get some sun after you finish your project."

"Your mom's right," Ali said after Mrs. Fields was gone. "We should have a picnic. What do you think, Em?"

"We can if you want to. I can pack some sandwiches after I clean this up. Are you done with the written part?"

"I'll take care of it tonight. We have twenty-four hours before we have to present. That's plenty of time to write another page about French food. If only we'd gotten a more exciting topic," Ali said with a wistful sigh.

There was so much she knew about France. So many glamorous facts and places she'd love to see. None of them had anything to do with listing various types of cheeses.

"I'm sure whatever you've written is better than anything I could come up with. I don't even know how to say 'food' in French," Emily said as she retrieved a broom and started sweeping up the flour that had fallen to the floor.

"We really need to have those tutoring sessions more often," Ali joked. She walked to the pantry and took out some peanut butter and jelly so Em wouldn't have to make the food. "Think you can spare a few more of those éclairs for our picnic?"

* * *

Ali leaned back onto the picnic blanket after she finished eating her food. She had the view of a beautiful lake only a few feet in front of her and her beautiful friend right beside her. The spring weather was warm and cheery, and, for the first time in months, she felt truly content.

The best part about it all was that she hadn't gotten an "A" text in nearly five weeks. It seemed the anonymous freak had finally tired of playing mind games. They could've been hit by a train for all Alison cared. All that mattered was that "A" was gone. Hopefully for good. Escaping Rosewood was no longer a priority, but it was still a nice daydream. She stared at the clouds, imagining she was looking at a Parisian skyline.

"You know, I'm only four points away from having a B in French. I think I can bring it up by finals," Emily said. She was lying in a similar position to Ali, back against the blanket and gaze directed toward the sky. Alison wondered if she was thinking about France, too.

Ali nodded in approval. "Slow and steady improvement. I see those verb charts I made you are helping."

"They are. It's just the irregular ones that make no sense. Who came up with those rules, anyway?" Emily asked, scrunching her nose.

"It doesn't matter." Ali rolled over onto her side to face her friend. "You just need to memorize them. It'll come in handy one day."

Emily mirrored her position. "Maybe for you. You're the one going to Paris."

"Yeah, I am. So you're saying you _don't_ want to come with me?"

Emily blinked in confusion. Then her eyes widened in shock. "Wait…I didn't know I was included in that."

"Maybe that was the plan from the start," Ali winked. It was fun to watch Emily get flustered, and Alison had to admit it was cute the way her face lit up, all bright and hopeful.

"That sounds incredible," Emily beamed. She rolled onto her back again and bit her lip to hide her huge grin.

Ali stayed on her side, watching Em and feeling satisfaction that _she_ was the one who could make her smile like that. It was easy to look at her. One thing Alison always prided herself on was her ability to pick out the most gorgeous group of friends, inside and out.

Emily's expression changed to a thoughtful one. "I forgot to tell you I looked up that word. The one you told me in class."

" _Sirène_ _?"_ Alison asked for clarification.

"Mhmm," the brunette hummed. Ali waited for her to say something else. Her cheeks were flushed slightly as she peered up at the sky. She must have been too shy or too nervous to elaborate further.

"Well I don't have to explain the connection, Mermaid," Ali said. She looked back at the swimmer and thought of the way she glided through water. Even her hair was like a mermaid's- long and flowing.

Ali propped herself up on one arm so that her face was hovering inches above the other girl, who still looked deep in thought. "Are you gonna tell me what else is going on in that mind of yours?"

Brown eyes watched her curiously. In them Ali could see affection and sincerity, but there was a degree of uncertainty. Like she wasn't quite sure of herself.

"I'm thinking about what you told me at The Brew. You said you wanted to take me and the girls to the lake," Emily answered. "There was a place you wanted to show me. Something that had to be kept secret. I've been thinking a lot about what you could've meant. I think…I think I know what you meant, but I would feel really stupid if I'm wrong."

Ali's heartbeat quickened when she remembered the suggestion she made that day. It was hard to explain her justification for what she wanted to do. Was it bad that she even considered taking her female friend to the Kissing Rock? What did it mean if she found herself thinking that kissing Emily wouldn't be so bad?

Wait. No.

This wasn't about her at all. This was about Emily and her inability to accept herself. She was the one living inside a glass closet, stuck in a cloud of denial. Alison reminded herself that she'd kissed half a dozen guys before most of her peers had gone on a first date. If that didn't scream straight, she didn't know what did. Kissing _one_ girl wouldn't change that. No one would find out. Ali's secrets were never revealed unless she intended for them to be.

And, anyway, this was for Emily. Not her. Only Emily.

She glanced at Emily's lips and covered up her own confusion with a smug smile and a daring look. "Don't overthink it. Trust your own instincts for once. Do what feels right."

Emily's eyes drifted to Alison's lips and the blonde felt her breath get caught in the back of her throat. She hoped Em hadn't noticed the tiny lapse in her confidence. Running her fingers along the girl's tanned cheek, she inched closer.

All she knew was that if Emily didn't close the distance right now, she would end up kissing her anyway, and she would spend the next week attempting to justify that decision to herself.

Luckily, she wouldn't have to.

Emily leaned up and captured her lips, softly, just barely, in a gentle and tentative kiss. They both lingered into it for a few seconds, and Ali could tell Emily was holding back, hesitant to plunge in deeper until she was sure this was okay.

Ali guided her into the kiss, reassuring her that it was fine to be a little less cautious, less chaste. Emily reciprocated, more than Alison expected her to. There were emotions poured into the kiss; feelings free at last after having been repressed for a long, long time. Emily was sharing secrets with her, not through words but through action.

And it was nice. It was the same as kissing a boy, except Em's lips were smoother, and that first-kiss butterfly feeling in the pit of her stomach was something she hadn't felt for a while.

Bushes rattled behind them and both girls pulled away at once. With pounding hearts, they sat up and frantically looked around for any sign of an unwelcome guest. No one was around. At least not in plain sight. All Alison could see was a row of trees on the edge of a still blue lake.

"It was probably just a squirrel. It had to be," Emily told her.

"Let's hope so," Ali said solemnly.

If someone had seen them, it would only take a few texts to destroy her reputation. Especially if that someone turned out to be "A."

* * *

 _May 2009_

Alison pried her air vent open and pulled out the antique box stuffed inside. There were an assortment of dolls inside, most of them grotesque. The first had arrived neatly-packaged on her doorstep the day before Halloween. Today she had a new one to add to the collection.

This one had unmistakable blue eyes and blonde curls. The doll could be considered beautiful if it weren't for the bloody wound on the top of its head. Dirt smudges and red stains covered its dress. A thin scroll of paper was tied to its hand.

Ali untied it and pulled the scroll open. It was difficult to read the small lettering, especially since her hands were trembling.

 _This summer will be one to_ _die_ _for. –A_

She quickly threw the message and doll into the secret box and shoved it back into the hiding spot. In the beginning, she'd told herself there was no way a loser who still played with dolls could be dangerous. Now she wasn't so sure.

After the air vent was closed, Alison went to shut her window. She stared out into the dreary weather, trying to feel nothing but feeling all too much. The reflection staring back at her was almost unrecognizable. She was supposed to be composed and alluring, the kind of person everyone wished they could be, but this girl only looked weak and scared. This was the first problem she couldn't weasel her way out of. The thought of being completely powerless was suffocating.

Ali yanked her curtains over the window and angrily wiped away tears that threatened to fall. This freak wasn't going to win. Not a chance in hell.

She heard her door creak open slowly and she just _knew_ it was her brother coming bother her again. "I literally just told you and your stoner buddy to get lost, Jason!" she snapped loudly as she spun around to face him.

But it wasn't Jason or any of his burnout friends. Emily was standing near the door, looking bewildered. "I'm not Jason, but I can leave if you want to be alone."

Ali pressed a hand to her forehead. "No, no, it's fine. You can stay." Even if she wasn't particularly up for having visitors, she knew it was usually better to have someone over when Jason's so-called film crew was right down the hall.

"Okay, good. I don't like you being here alone when your brother's friends are here, anyway," Emily said, parroting Alison's thoughts. She gave the blonde a concerned look.

Alison immediately felt self-conscious. She wished she was wearing something other than yoga pants and a plain blue t-shirt. These were her clothes for moping around the house. Emily probably knew something was up.

"They're not bothering you, are they?" the brunette asked. "You can tell me if they are. I swear, if they even try to lay a finger on you, or look at you the wrong way, I'll go over there and make them regret it."

"Woah there, Em," Ali said, raising an eyebrow in surprise. "That's not necessary, but I appreciate the offer. Protective Emily sounds kind of hot, actually."

Emily blushed at that, of course, and Ali couldn't keep the grin off her face. This felt normal. This felt good. She looked back at her friend, noticing for the first time that her shorts and Rosewood Sharks sweatshirt were soaking wet.

"Did you sprint here in the rain?"

"I rode my bike here from Hanna's house. It started raining on the way," Emily explained, still blushing. "It's no big deal. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Of course I'm okay. There's no reason why I wouldn't be," Ali lied. "So what do you want to do?"

Emily still looked unconvinced for whatever reason, but after Alison was done speaking she perked up. "Well, I actually came over because I have a surprise."

That caught Ali's attention. "Ooh, a surprise?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's not anything too special," the brunette said as she shrugged her drawstring backpack off her shoulders and began digging through it. She pulled out a DVD Alison didn't recognize.

"You know how some people learn a second language by watching a lot of TV? I thought maybe we could do the same thing with movies. I borrowed one from the school library. We can watch it together, if you want. Or we don't have to if you think it's a dumb idea," Emily rambled.

"It's not dumb," Ali told her. "We can watch it in here. You should probably change into some dry clothes first," she said as she walked over to her dresser to pull out some clothes for Emily. While she was leaning down to grab a tank top and a pair of short-shorts that would really good on the swimmer's legs, Ali caught sight of herself in the mirror and noticed her mascara was smeared slightly from rubbing her eyes.

Crap. No wonder Emily kept asking her if she was alright.

She tried her best to wipe away the smeared makeup before turning around to toss the clothes to Emily. The self-conscious feeling was back and she felt the need to explain herself.

"God, I didn't even realize my mascara was messed up. It's probably because I took a nap right before you got here. I really needed one after having to deal with Pigskin and Triple Nipple's bullshit all week long. They don't know their place and it's friggin' _exhausting_ putting up with them."

Emily only nodded politely in her direction and said, "I'm sure everything will work itself out." She looked away from the blonde as she pulled her clothes off and replaced them with the ones Alison had thrown her way. Ali didn't realize she was watching her undress until she had to drop her eyes quickly to avoid being caught.

She put the DVD into the player and plopped on her bed beside the other girl. " _Les Demoiselles de Rochefort_ ," Ali read aloud from the title screen. "That translates to 'The Young Girls of Rochefort.' Do you know what the movie's about?"

"Um, the librarian said it was about two girls who want to get out of their little town. I don't know. I kind of picked it randomly," Emily said.

"Sure you did," Ali said, rolling her eyes playfully. Ever since that day at the lake, Emily had been all about learning French because the endgame was getting a ticket to travel to Paris with Alison. Her life had been in rosy hues these past few weeks while Alison's was unraveling with "A" threats. Still, Ali didn't want to ruin it for her. Emily's happiness was innocent and pure. Sometimes even infectious.

Alison leaned back into her pile of pillows and patted the spot beside her, motioning for Emily to come closer. As soon as Emily sat beside her, she rested her head on the girl's shoulder and lazily draped an arm over her midsection. It was something she always did with her friends while watching movies, but somehow it felt different, more intimate, without the other girls here.

With just the two of them here, it was hard to not think about the kiss. The memory of it brought out too many confusing emotions within her, so she quickly chased the thoughts away. It wasn't like she could risk talking about it with Emily, anyway. Not with "A" scrutinizing her every move.

Instead she turned her attention to the film. From the second it started, it became apparent that it was going to be quite possibly the cheesiest musical of all time. Girls danced in large, colorful dresses and sang French songs using vocabulary words that were far beyond Alison's scope of knowledge.

It was fun to pretend she knew what they were saying, because Em thought she was some kind of French prodigy and she couldn't destroy the illusion. Every few minutes, she'd laugh and mumble, "That's so true, isn't it?" Then she'd watch Em furrow her eyebrows and try to figure out what was going on. After a minute the girl would give up and her small, content smile would return.

She had no idea what was happening on screen, but she was still overjoyed to be here, watching it with Alison.

"I have another phrase to teach you," Ali said in the middle of watching the movie, though she'd spent the better part of it watching Em instead. " _La vie en rose._ It means life in pink, or life through rose-colored glasses. I think it describes your outlook on life, especially considering recent events."

"I think I need another translation," Emily said, looking at her skeptically. "Because if it's about the color pink, I think it describes you more than me."

"No, that's not what I mean," Ali tried to explain herself. "When you look through rose-colored glasses, you see only the good in situations and in people. Some might call it naïve, but I think they're just jealous they can't be the same way. I'd imagine it's a much nicer way to live."

Emily tilted her head and considered it. "That sounds about right. I don't see what's so hard about being positive. Everything is so good right now. Especially considering recent events," she said, stealing the last phrase from Alison. She reached for the blonde's hand and laced their fingers together.

The bedroom felt warmer than it had before. Alison could feel Emily's eyes on her even when she wasn't looking. She knew this conversation was leading up to _something_ , whether it was a serious talk or another kiss. Her stomach was in knots and she couldn't tell whether it was from anticipation or worry.

"Ali…" Emily murmured, and Alison didn't have it in herself to ignore the girl. Maybe others, but not her.

"Yeah, Em?" she asked quietly.

Emily leaned in closer until the two of them were breathing the same air. Before their lips could connect, Alison's phone chimed.

Without a second thought, Ali picked up her phone and shielded it with her hand. These texts were for her eyes only.

 _Looks like Emily isn't the only one who likes the taste of cherry chapstick. –A_

Panic ran through her. Then fury. She wanted to throw her new iPhone against the wall and watch it shatter. She wanted to kick and shriek and cry. Most of all, the wanted to track down whoever was watching her and strangle them until they were gasping for breath and begging for mercy.

But Emily was here, and she couldn't do any of that. All she could do was scowl and fight back angry tears.

The tan skinned girl shifted in her spot. "Who was that?"

"Just some guy," Ali lied, unable to keep the bitter tone out of her voice.

Emily's eyes narrowed. "A guy?"

"Yeah. Why, is that a surprise?"

It wasn't Em's fault. Ali knew that deep down. The poor girl looked completely baffled by the sudden 180 degree twist in the conversation. "I just thought…" she struggled for words, finally looking down in disappointment. "I didn't know you've been talking to guys lately."

"Well, have you broken up with Ben?" Alison shot back. Silence was the only answer she received. "Didn't think so."

Emily pulled her legs up to her chest. "It's different," she said in a tiny voice. "I don't feel anything when I kiss him. I know I need to end it. I just haven't found a way yet. I'm not ready to tell people…"

"That you're gay," Ali finished for her.

"Yeah," she whispered, nearly choking on the word. "What about you?"

Alison crossed her arms. "What _about_ me?" she asked, even though she knew where this was going.

"You kissed me," Emily said bluntly. "Or maybe I kissed you, but you kissed back and you were the one pushing for it to happen. Doesn't that make you at least bisexual?"

With a groan, Ali climbed off of the bed. "It doesn't make me anything. Unlike you, I don't have to hide who I like."

She hadn't meant for the words to sound so cold and biting. The last thing she wanted to do was push Emily to tears.

It took her by surprise when Emily got off the bed and scooped up her bag before walking straight to the door. Before she left, she turned around and said, "If you want me to leave you alone, then fine, but you're not fooling me. I know you're not the person you pretend to be, Alison."

The door slammed behind her and Ali remained frozen in place. The regret inside of her felt like it was physically weighing her down, stopping her from running after the girl.

 _I know you're not the person you pretend to be, Alison._

Or maybe she was exactly that person. Maybe every piece of good Emily found in her was just another illusion from looking through rose-tinted glasses.

* * *

 **Gotta break things down to build them back up. And since I'm not Marlene King, I actually intend on fixing it ;) Please review. I love reading them :)**


	3. Trois

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has continued to read through the long hiatus. I was actually surprised that reviews were still coming in! I never planned on abandoning the story and I won't leave it unfinished. A lot has happened in my life over the past few months, including the loss of a family member. I'm trying to get everything back in order, so it's time to revisit this story and hopefully get the bulk of it drafted while I'm on winter break. At the very least, the next chapter will be posted soon enough because I am already 2.5K words into writing it and it's coming along well.**

 **The most votes were to continue the story as an AU, without Ali's disappearance. However, there may still be a time jump near the end. A will be involved, so the girls will still be challenged so that they can grow and mature to the point where a healthy relationship is possible. I hope this chapter is decent!**

* * *

 _May 2009_

Ali hugged her purse close to her body as she wandered around the seemingly abandoned apartment complex. She must've gotten the address wrong, but she could've sworn this was where CeCe said she lived. After glancing around again and seeing no one, she pulled her phone out of her bag with the intention of calling the older girl. Before opening her contacts, she checked her messages out of habit, just as she'd been doing obsessively all weekend in hopes of finding a new text from a certain brunette.

And…nothing. Shocker.

Her thumbs hovered over the keyboard. By now she'd stared at the same screen enough times to memorize every word of the texts she'd sent over the weekend, even the embarrassing remorseful ones that sounded way too desperate for her liking. Especially those. It took her two whole days to swallow her pride and work up the nerve to send an apology.

After that she'd expected a response, but Emily still wasn't answering. Alison rarely had to deal with silence, at least not from someone who mattered. She hated to admit how much it stung. In hindsight, she should've known that the soft spot she had for one of her best friends would only lead to trouble, but how was she supposed to know it would evolve into- whatever this was. She never expected to lose sleep over one person's opinion of her.

And she kind of hated that when she was able to finally fall asleep after hours of tossing and turning, her dreams still revolved around the brunette. In the worst dreams, Emily called her out on every lie she'd ever told. In the good ones, Emily would forgive her and it would lead up to a more heated version of what happened at the lake. Those dreams didn't make sense, either.

Emily was a _girl,_ after all. Alison was grateful that science hadn't given way to a device that could record dreams for others to see, because if people at school found out…No. She couldn't even think about what would happen.

Meeting up with CeCe was supposed to be a much needed distraction. Her older friend was always good for an intense round of gossip or a night of wild partying at UPenn. She liked to keep CeCe tucked away, separate from her four besties. Her reasoning for it was because the other girls weren't mature enough to be part of the college crowd. Except that wasn't the complete truth. CeCe was more like a sister than a friend; sometimes Ali needed the guidance of an older sibling. (It wasn't like getting advice from Jason was an option. He may have been almost twenty-one, but he had the maturity of a toddler.)

The sound of a car engine revved from around a corner, causing Ali to flinch. Her hand slipped around the pepper spray in her bag just in case she needed to pull it out at a moment's notice. There was a risk to wandering around sketchy areas alone when there was a psychopath stalking her every move. She was aware of that, but she refused to hide away in her room all day. She just needed to be prepared for the worst.

The engine roared again, this time louder; closer. Alison backed up, nearly pressing herself against the brick wall of the building.

Then a familiar red car rolled into view. Ali breathed a sigh of relief.

"God, CeCe, you scared the crap out of me! Is this seriously where you live?"

The young woman in the convertible tapped her fingers on her steering wheel. "Come on, Ali. I wouldn't be caught dead living in a dump like this. I was just messing with you when I told you to meet me here. So, are you gonna get in the car or not?"

Ali opened the passenger door and climbed inside, immediately feeling safer than she had been standing on the sidewalk. "I hope you realize you're a crazy bitch for sending me here. You're lucky I didn't get mugged."

CeCe rolled her eyes. "Don't be so dramatic."

Alison's attention was completely diverted the second her phone chimed in her lap. She turned it over eagerly, but the flutters in her chest quickly turned to disappointment when she saw it wasn't Em.

This was getting old.

In a burst of frustration, Alison opened the screen with Emily's name and started typing out another text against her better judgment.

 _You promised we would always stay close. You said nothing would change that._

She couldn't bring herself to press the blue send button. With a defeated sigh, she deleted the words and placed the phone face down on her lap.

CeCe raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Just drive," Ali grumbled. "I don't care where we go."

Her friend acted obediently, peeling out of the parking lot and onto the highway.

"I'm not blind. I see what's going on here," CeCe said. "Whatever this guy is putting you through, I can guarantee it's nothing I've never heard before. What's his name?"

"It's not a guy problem," Ali answered quietly, unable to muster the usual strength in her voice.

CeCe studied her as intently as she could while still keeping an eye on the road. "If it's not a guy, then who is it making you act all emo? A girl?" she asked with a light laugh, like it was more a joke than a serious question.

"I'm not acting emo," Alison deflected. "As if I would ever let myself turn into Jason."

"Okay, whatever you say, but you didn't answer the question."

Alison felt like her throat was closing up. She paused for several beats longer than intended before saying, "It was a stupid question. I'm obviously not gay."

"I never said you were," CeCe told her. "I was referring to your little group of friends actually, but your reaction is very telling," she smirked.

Ali hated the way her cheeks flushed against her will. Being pushed into a corner was humiliating. She briefly wondered if this was how Emily felt every time they danced around talking about her obvious feelings. If that's what she meant when she said Alison always forced her into situations, then maybe the blonde owed her friend more apologies than she originally thought.

"There's nothing telling about it. Just drop it, okay? It's none of your business," Alison shot back in defense.

"Isn't this why you called me, though? Cause you wanted to talk? I remember you told me you have a friend who's, like, so desperately in love with you she acts more like a lapdog than a person. I thought it might have something to do with her," CeCe shrugged.

"I don't remember using those words," Alison said, once again feeling that ever-present gnaw of guilt.

"So I embellished a bit. You get the idea. Does she still have a huge crush on you?"

"Well, yeah, duh. It's not like it matters. We're still friends…I guess," Ali said, frowning. She stared at the buildings passing by outside the car for a minute before adding, "Or maybe not, anymore. I might have screwed that up."

Before Ali realized what was happening, CeCe had abruptly turned off the highway into an unfamiliar parking lot. Her head bobbed forward when they came to a sudden stop and she was left wondering how the hell her friend managed to pass her driver's test.

Rubbing her neck, Alison looked over to meet blue eyes and an expectant expression that so closely resembled her own.

"You're killing me here. Spill the details, Ali," CeCe instructed.

"Ugh, fine. But you have to promise not to be weird about it, okay? I'm serious," Ali warned her. Part of her was dying to talk to someone about secrets she'd kept locked away for weeks. They were starting to weigh on her mind and she could use some clarity.

The other blonde nodded and leaned forward in anticipation.

Alison took a deep breath to collect her nerves. Play it cool. "Something happened between me and Emily. You know, the one who likes me. I like getting reactions out of her sometimes. She's kind of shy and all so it's fun pushing the edges of her comfort zone. Well...we were by the lake one day and she kissed me out of nowhere," Ali said, slipping into a lie purely out of habit. The kiss definitely didn't come out of nowhere. It felt safer to tell the story in a way that excluded her own involvement, even if it wasn't the truth.

She paused to check CeCe's reaction. It was hard to say what she was expecting; maybe bulging eyes or a sound of disgust, but her friend was surprisingly composed. She only tilted her head before asking, "Did you like it?"

The question took her off guard. She almost choked out a defensive _NO_ before reminding herself that CeCe didn't seem to care either way. "I mean, I don't know," she mumbled instead. "Yeah, it was good and I kissed her back, but a kiss is just a kiss, right? It doesn't have to mean anything."

"A kiss always means something," CeCe said, "Especially if you've known the person a long time. If you had the chance, would you kiss her again?"

Alison bit her lip while she thought about it. "Maybe. But I'm not like _that_. I can't like her. It would ruin everything. And even if I did have feelings for her, it's too late. I already chased her away."

"Then get her back if you want to. I'm not seeing the issue here. You're _the_ Alison DiLaurentis for Christ's sake. You can do whatever you want," CeCe replied, rolling her eyes. "You don't have to rush to label yourself. I'm not a lesbian either, but do you really think I've never hooked up with a girl?"

The younger girl stared back with wide eyes. "Seriously? You never told me that!"

"I'm in college. I thought it was assumed," CeCe said with a smirk. "The world's a lot bigger than Rosewood, Ali. Not everyone is a judgmental prick."

Alison half-heartedly nodded. That kind of logic hardly applied when there was a line of people waiting for her to screw up. One misstep and she could kiss her golden throne goodbye.

"So stop moping around and do something about your situation. I expect nothing less than an extraordinary gesture, and you'd better report back to me after you and Emily are on speaking terms again."

"Fine. Luckily for you, I already excel at being extraordinary," Ali said, covering up her earlier embarrassment with a boastful smile. "I'll make it happen."

An idea was already forming in her head.

* * *

The normally subdued French class was bursting with excitement. Not only was it Friday, but the end of the school year was quickly approaching and all foreign language classes were going on a field trip to see a cultural exhibit at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. The only thing standing in the way of everyone boarding the buses was a five-question daily French review.

Emily set her notebook on her desk and flipped through pages to find notes on partitive articles. She barely remembered covering the topic, and once she found the page she remembered why. That was the day after her dad came home for a visit. It was hard enough to focus on school, even before Alison started asking for details about what they were doing to celebrate and how much she missed her father when he was overseas.

Somehow the three lines of lesson notes at the top of the page had given way to a back-and-forth written conversation about dinner plans and a few doodles of American flags, courtesy of Alison. Of course. Even when she was trying to keep her distance from the girl, reminders popped up everywhere.

Emily shut her notebook and tried not to notice the familiar face entering the classroom; As if she could actually ignore her.

Once Alison walked up to her desk, there was no chance of avoiding her. Ali took her binder out from her purse and glanced in Emily's direction. "I didn't see you at the Brew this morning," she said casually. "Aria said you walked to school with Ben. Is that true?"

"Yeah, I did. I didn't think that would be a problem," Emily answered, looking down at her worksheet.

"I never said it was a problem," Ali said, though Emily could tell the careful composure in her tone was just barely masking annoyance. "I just wish you would've answered my text when I asked if you were coming."

"Sorry," Emily muttered, still avoiding eye contact.

Ali let out a sigh that sounded more like a grunt and gave up on continuing the conversation.

The truth was Emily had ignored most of the texts Ali sent her over the past week. The messages had started off cold and impersonal, just fishing for a response, but as days passed they'd become more genuine and apologetic. She understood that it wasn't easy for Ali to say things like _I'm sorry_ and _please let me explain_. She would've answered her pleas in a heartbeat if she wasn't frightened of the conversation that would follow.

What if Ali asked her to forget everything that had happened between them? What if all of it- the flirting, the kiss- was just a game Alison had grown tired of playing? She always knew that was a possibility, yet she still allowed feelings to cloud her judgment and give her hope that maybe, just maybe this wasn't a one-sided infatuation.

That's why it stung so badly when Ali said she was still talking to guys. That she didn't have to hide who she liked. It was a hard knock down to reality.

Emily turned her attention back to the worksheet and guessed at all five fill-in-the-blank questions. She could feel Alison's eyes on her paper. It wasn't all that surprising when the blonde pushed her own finished worksheet over so her friend could copy the right answers.

"No thanks," Emily whispered, looking across the room to making sure Madame wouldn't get on their case for cheating.

"Emily, you have three of them wrong. Do you wanna raise your grade or not?" Alison countered, her tone impatient. "We went over these articles before. _De le_ is supposed to change to _du_ , remember?"

Now that she mentioned it, it did sound familiar. "Okay, fine," Emily reluctantly agreed. She quickly changed her answers and flipped her paper over. "Thanks..." she added after hesitating.

"No problem," Ali answered quietly, her voice softer than before. She tilted her head and looked at Emily expectantly, like she was waiting for her to say something else. Emily finally allowed herself to meet the other girl's eyes.

Ali looked as exhausted as Emily felt. There was no dare in her expression today; just one question: _Are you going to shut me out forever?_

No, probably not, Emily thought. Her resolve was already wearing thin, but she couldn't go crawling back now and leave herself open to further harm. If she'd had more of a backbone before, they wouldn't be in this situation now. If she gave in now, nothing would change.

Madame was quick to interrupt their silent conversation. "Pass forward your worksheets and walk to the buses in an orderly manner! Everyone better be on their best behavior because you are all representing Rosewood High and I will not hesitate to cut the field trip short if one person acts out. Est-ce que tu comprends?"

"Oui, Madame," everyone chorused.

Emily scooped up her belongings, pausing only when Ali rested a hand on her arm. "Em, wait. We really need to talk."

The swimmer shifted in her spot. "I told Aria I would ride with her on the way there, but we're all going to meet up at the museum. We can talk there."

"This isn't really a conversation I want to have around the girls," Ali frowned. "But okay, fine. Have fun riding with Aria or whatever." She dug into her purse again and pulled out a little folded up sheet of paper.

"Here's something for you to think about," she said, setting the paper on the desk.

Alison walked past her, out the door, and Emily was left feeling both relieved to be free from the tension and still somehow sad that she was gone.

Em unfolded the piece of paper while she walked to the bus. Her heart raced in nervous anticipation and she fully expected to find some kind of passive aggressive explanation for Alison's hot and cold behavior on the inside.

Except that's not what it was. True to form, Ali had left a cryptic message in French. Just three little words written in her unmistakable curly cursive.

 _ **Tu me manques.**_

* * *

"Impressionism has to mean Monet. The other hints mention brush strokes and light," Aria said, holding up the scavenger hunt worksheet for Spencer and Emily to see.

The three of them walked along the marble floor of the museum hallway. Each step produced a large echo. Dozens of art pieces hung from the walls, but Emily was more focused on the little piece of paper inside her pocket. She cupped it in her hand to make sure it was still there and thought about the words, all while blocking out her companions' banter.

"I know it means Monet," Spencer said. "It has to be _Bridge Over a Pond of Water Lilies_. Andrew and Mona wrote down something different. We can still be the first ones to turn in all of the correct answers."

"I know you want to beat Andrew, but I still think it's the sunrise painting. It's his most recognizable piece," Aria countered, motioning to another painting of a sky made up of soft colors.

Spencer shook her head adamantly. "There's no way I'm wrong. I wrote a research paper on Monet in seventh grade."

"I'm still not sure. What do you think, Em?" Aria asked.

Emily stuffed the little note back in her pocket and shrugged. "I think I should've gone to the gift shop with Ali and Hanna. This worksheet isn't even for a real grade. Why does it matter?"

"No one was stopping you from going with them," Spencer said. "The whole point of being at a museum is to study the art. If you guys don't care, you should've stayed home."

Emily fought back the urge to roll her eyes. "It's not that I don't care. I just don't understand why you have to take it so seriously. It's not a competition." She looked around, considering leaving to look at other artwork before the disagreement turned into a senseless argument.

Then Aria took her off guard.

"Emily, it's okay. We know you only stayed with us because you and Ali are fighting. I figured out what happened," the tiny brunette said.

"Wait, what?" Spencer cut in. "I knew nothing about this. What happened with you and Alison?"

Emily froze in place. The wide hallway suddenly felt a lot smaller and she could feel her skin flush. "What do you mean you figured out what happened? H-how much do you know?" she stammered.

Aria blinked in response, looking less sure than before. "Well, I thought you two got in an argument over Ben. She was really mad when we told her you were with him. Seriously, you should've seen her."

"That's what that was about? I literally thought she was going to break her coffee cup from gripping it too tight," Spencer commented.

"I don't know why she acted like that," Emily said. Her muscles relaxed when it became clear the girls didn't know too much, but the relief was soon replaced by frustration. What right did Alison have to decide where she went and who she talked to? After her speech the other night, she had no right to act like she cared, or to act like she was _jealous_. Especially since she had no idea what was really going on.

"I broke up with Ben this morning," Emily announced. "That's why I met up with him."

"Why would you do that?" Aria shot her an incredulous expression. "If I had a boyfriend, I wouldn't break up with him. Not as long as he cared about me and I was happy."

"I wasn't happy," Emily said, folding her arms. "It was a decision I needed to make for myself, but I guess Alison assumes that everything I do revolves around her."

Then the swimmer hesitated because the decision actually did revolve around Alison, in a way.

Aria and Spencer stared back at her. "I've never actually heard you say anything negative about her before," Spencer said.

"They're coming back…" Aria whispered. She looked down the hallway, to where Hanna was swinging a shopping bag around as she walked toward them. Ali sauntered beside the other blonde.

"So the gift shop actually had earrings," Hanna said when they got closer. She noticed everyone's expressions and then added, "Hey, why is everyone so quiet? You guys are acting weird."

"Is there a problem here?" Alison asked, eyeing each girl.

"Emily was just telling us that she broke up with Ben," Aria said hesitantly.

"Is that true, Emily?" she asked the brunette. For the most part, her expression remained guarded.

"It's true. We're done," Emily said, keeping her tone equally composed.

"Oh," Ali breathed out, almost sounding relieved. "Good. He was repulsive. You should've broken up with him months ago. If it would've gone on any longer, I would've had to do it for you."

Emily forced herself to meet Alison's blue eyes. "I didn't need any help. Believe it or not, I can take care of myself."

"Um, Spencer, Hanna, and I are going look at the sculptures. You two can meet us after. Come on guys, let's go," Aria said, dragging a very confused Hanna along with her. Spencer narrowed her eyes at Emily and Alison before reluctantly following the others.

Emily sighed when they left. There would be questions later for sure. How was she supposed to explain any of this?

Alison twisted a ring around her finger. She seemed particularly engrossed in the painting on the wall as she spoke. "I never thought of you as the type to hold a grudge," she began.

"Are you disappointed that I got tired of being a doormat?" Emily asked, the bitter tone in her voice surprising even herself. She hadn't planned on being difficult, but here they were and she couldn't keep her frustration at bay.

"No, that's not what I meant," Ali said, finally looking over at the other girl. "I told you I didn't want you to be afraid of me. You can speak your mind. Given the circumstances, I understand why you want nothing to do with me. But I can fix it, Em. Don't give up on me yet."

"I never said I was giving up on you for good. I just need some space," Emily said, crossing her arms again. "I don't know if you understand what you've done to me, what you've been doing for months, but it's humiliating. I can't deal with the teasing anymore. Especially not when I know you're still talking to guys."

Alison looked back over her shoulder, making sure no one was close enough to hear their conversation. Emily had never noticed before, but it was something she did a lot. Confident as she was, the queen bee always looked ready to run away at a moment's notice. Her guard was always up, like she was a soldier on a battlefield waiting for the next surprise attack. Maybe that was why no one really got a chance to know her.

"We should go somewhere more…private," Alison said. She motioned for Emily to follow her.

Emily stepped ahead of the other girl so the blonde would know she was choosing to do this on her own terms; she wasn't going to just aimlessly follow her like an obedient puppy.

"I'm not talking to any guys, by the way. I lied," Ali murmured as they walked.

"Why would you lie about that?" Emily asked doubtfully.

"It's complicated," she answered. When Emily shook her head in response, the blonde hastily added, "I was nervous, okay? I screwed up."

Alison pushed open the door to the restroom. Mona Vanderwaal walked out as they entered, almost bumping into them in the process. Ali glared at her and she gave an aloof smile in response.

"I think we're alone now," Ali said after checking to make sure there was no one in the stalls. "Did you translate the note I gave you?"

"No, not yet. My phone service is terrible, and I can't get the Internet to open," Emily said. "But I'm confused because the two words I was able to figure out on my own don't make any sense."

Ali handed over her iPhone. "My Internet is working. You can look it up."

"Can't you just tell me?" Emily asked, even though she knew she wouldn't get an answer. While Ali shuffled around something in her bag, the swimmer opened Google Translate and typed in the short phrase: _Tu me manques_.

"I miss you," Emily read aloud. She looked at the words on the screen, unsure of how she was supposed to respond to it. "You could've just told me that. You don't have to hide behind another language."

"The French say it so much better, though," Ali told her. "It didn't make sense when you tried to translate it yourself because it doesn't directly translate to _I miss you_. In French, it means _you are missing from me_. Something's missing from me when you're away. That's the only way I know how to explain what I feel."

It was almost impossible for Emily to stay angry when her heart fluttered and a blush crept over her cheeks, but she couldn't give in that easily. "Are you sure you mean that?" she asked. Alison wasn't smirking or wearing that expression that always came along with the teasing. She was pretty certain this was genuine Ali; her favorite person. Still, Emily had to ask. Just to be sure she could trust her words.

"I mean every word," Ali said. "You saw something better in me. I felt like there was something better in me, even though we both know I'm a terrible person."

"You're not a terrible person," Emily sighed. "Don't say that about yourself."

"You don't have to lie to make me feel better. That's not why I brought you here," Ali said, shuffling through her bag again.

"I want to give you something. You said you wanted us to watch some French movies to help you learn the language, and that last one we watched wasn't the easiest to understand. I did some searching and found the best critically-acclaimed films," she said, pulling a stack of five DVDs out of her bag. "We can have a movie night, just the two of us. If you want to."

"You didn't have to do all that, Ali. Of course we can watch the movies. It's almost impossible to stay mad at you, but I'm sure you already knew that," Emily said sheepishly.

"Yeah, but it's nice to hear it," the other girl beamed.

"I want you back in my life, too," Emily said, smiling back tentatively, "but some things have to change. You have to be honest with me. I'm fine with us being just friends…" she trailed off, losing her smile.

She choked back the lump in her throat and continued. "I just can't deal with the false hope. If all of this was to get me to accept myself and break up with Ben, mission accomplished, I guess. If you don't have any feelings for me, just tell me so I can move on. Please."

Emily braced herself for the response.

"I…" Alison started, struggling with her words. She took a deep breath and did that thing again where she looked over her shoulders, checking to make sure no one else was here to see her moment of vulnerability.

"I can't say your feelings are totally one-sided," she said in a hushed voice. "I can't afford to be open about it, even to myself because- There are things you don't know about, Em. There are people who can and will use this against me. I've already gotten threats. I don't want to lose everything I've worked for, but I don't want to lose you, either."

Emily leaned forward and pulled Ali into an embrace. She could hardly register the weight that lifted off her heavy heart at Ali's confession. Feelings suddenly weren't the focus. Her protective instincts were kicking in and she only wanted to make sure Alison was safe from harm.

She ran a hand through Ali's golden hair and thought about how she looked the week before. Smudged mascara and puffy eyes. It only took a minute for her to pull herself together and brush off any concerns. Emily couldn't shake the feeling that Jason's friends had something to do with it, but she had no proof to back up her hunch. Accusations wouldn't work. She decided on a gentle probe because the wrong words could erase any progress already made in repairing their relationship.

"I can't help unless you tell me what's going on. Who are you so scared of? How did they threaten you?"

"It's nothing you need to worry about. I promise," Ali said. "I'm handling it. All I need is for you to stick around while I sort through things. Don't give up on me, okay?"

"I won't," Emily said, pulling her closer. Normally, she would make sure to not linger into a hug for too long, but Ali was still holding on. That meant she didn't have to let go; it was okay to pretend they lived in a perfect world where trust issues and relationship complications didn't exist. Like this, she felt surprisingly whole. Remembering Ali's words, she realized the other girl must feel the same way.

The two of them weren't quite equipped to face the word together, not now, not yet, but Emily had to admit that something was missing from her when Alison was gone.


	4. Quatre

**A/N: I accidentally wrote almost 7,000 words for this chapter. Oops. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. You are all so sweet, and I hope you enjoy this one. Like I said last time, I'm sticking with fetus emison for now since it's hard to do a jump with A involved without Ali going missing. The time jump will probably be the last chapter. Thanks for reading and happy early new year!**

* * *

 _May 2009_

The doorbell rang just as Alison finished pulling her hair through the curling iron. She leapt up from her vanity chair and headed for the door, pausing to examine herself in the mirror. It was just movie night, not really a date, so Ali wasn't sure why there was a flicker of nervousness in her chest. She always looked presentable, but tonight she wanted to make sure she looked flawless in her new top and skinny jeans.

After running her hand through her hair one more time to fix a strand that was out of place, she hurried down the stairs and to the front door. She swung the door open to see Emily on the other side, holding a huge bucket of popcorn.

"Hey," she greeted the brunette, still a little breathless from nearly running halfway across the house, and Emily smiled in response. "You didn't have to bring popcorn. I think we have some of the microwavable bags."

"I wanted to bring something, since you bought the movies. My mom gave me a popcorn machine last Christmas and I'd never gotten a chance to try it out. It tastes just like movie popcorn," Emily said. "You look nice," she added once she was fully inside.

"Thanks," Ali said, grateful that the effort she'd put into her appearance hadn't gone unnoticed. "So do you, but that goes without saying."

Comments like that always made Shy Emily reappear. It was cute how she looked down and blushed. Ali wasn't sure where the boundaries were right now- if there were any. There were feelings of some sort on both sides, but they hadn't defined their relationship. Hopefully it was still okay to flirt with her.

Ali's thoughts were interrupted by a long banging noise from upstairs, followed by a chorus of laughter.

"They're over here _again_?" Emily asked, knitting her eyebrows in concern.

That type of look always put Alison on edge. She reminded herself that there was no reason for anyone to be worried. Nothing too traumatic had happened, anyway.

"They've been here pretty much every weekend since their exams ended. Instead of getting a job and saving up money for an apartment like normal college kids, they prefer to hang out in Rosewood of all places. It's actually pathetic."

"Shouldn't your mom be home, though? Instead of leaving you here with them?" Emily asked. Her eyes were still focused on the stairs, and Alison was a little worried she would run up there and cause a scene.

"She said she had to stay late at the office," Ali shrugged. "Whether that's true or not isn't my problem. They don't bother me, anyway, aside from being loud. There's only three of them up there. If we put the movie loud enough, I'm sure we can drown out their voices. Come on," Ali said, taking the girl's hand and leading her upstairs before she could protest any further.

Once up in her room, Ali picked the DVD on the top of the stack and put it into the player. She plopped down on the bed beside Emily and grabbed a handful of popcorn.

"Do you know what this movie is about?" Emily asked.

"Not really," Ali answered, "but the critics said it's amazing." She looked over at the brunette, expecting her to move closer. They almost always huddled close together when relaxing by themselves. She was still keeping her distance. Ali ached to move closer, but she restrained herself, instead settling on keeping about a foot of space between them.

She focused on the film for a while, getting the gist of the plot but not quite understanding all of the words.

"I forgot to ask when you're planning to go to Paris," Emily commented about twenty minutes into the movie. "Did you want to go on one of those study abroad field trips they do over the summer, or are you going after graduation?"

"I'm definitely not going with the school. No way I'm letting Madame dictate what I can and can't do," Ali mused. "Hmm, I guess we could go after graduation. I don't know if I can wait that long, though. Three years is a long time. A lot can happen."

She thought about the threats that had already come in the mail. The creepy dolls were stuffed away in her hiding spots, but that didn't mean she was free from danger. If this A person was really dangerous, she might not survive the summer, much less make it to graduation.

Ali frowned and instinctively reached for her phone to make sure there were no more anonymous messages. Then she remember she'd already turned it off to avoid a repeat of last week.

"Everything okay?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, I just hope we all stay close this summer," Ali said.

"You don't have to worry about silly things like that," Emily assured her. She rested her hand over Alison's for just a second before realizing what she was doing. Then she pulled her hand away and turned her attention back to the screen.

Alison watched her curiously for a few seconds. As far as she was concerned, the movie was just background noise at this point. There were more important things to work through.

"So is this the new normal?" Ali asked, motioning to the space between them.

Emily seemed to understand what she meant. "No. I don't think we've figured out the new normal yet."

Her hands, Ali noticed, were clenched at her sides, like she was trying really hard to keep them still. Alison reached for one of them gently, running her thumb over tanned skin until the muscles in her hand visibly relaxed. "What do you want it to be?"

"I just want us to be Ali and Em. I want it to be simple and easy," Emily sighed. She looked over at the blonde. "I know you said you needed time to sort through things. I'm fine with waiting," she said, giving the other girl a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

Ali knew the being fine with waiting part was a lie; Emily's face was an open book. She contemplated whether to go along with it. It was safer that way. Ali barely had her own feelings worked out, and there was A to worry about. The problem was, she wasn't sure how long she could bear any distance between them.

She squirmed a little before making a decision. Scooting closer to Em, she brushed a piece of long, dark hair away from the girl's ear and leaned in close.

"Wanna know a secret?" She heard Emily's deep intake of breath and waited for her to nod before saying, "I'm not as patient as you are. I don't want space."

"Is that okay with you?" she added as she continued to brush through Emily's hair.

"Do you really think I would complain about that?" Em asked jokingly. She ran her fingers over Ali's arm, tracing circles along her smooth skin. Eventually she reached Ali's cheek, caressing it softly.

The volume on the television suddenly got louder and the heated argument that ensued on screen made them both jump. _Je d_ é _teste! Je d_ é _teste!_

Alison and Emily looked at each other after the unexpected outburst and both started laughing.

"Well that was out of place. I actually understood that one," Emily giggled.

"That has to be the first time the French language has ever ruined the mood," Ali agreed with a laugh.

"It didn't ruin the mood," Emily said. "I like seeing you laugh."

Warmth ran over Ali's body. She wanted to say something back, something clever or maybe just an 'oh yeah? Well I like _you_ ,' but the words were caught on her tongue. Instead, she pulled herself up to where she was basically straddling the other girl and pressed a kiss to Em's lips. Short and sweet.

She was about the kiss her again when Emily said, "Ali, wait."

"What is it, Em?" she asked, trying not to sound impatient.

"I keep thinking about that phrase you told me. Tu me munks." The pronunciation was off, but it wasn't hard to figure out what she was saying.

Alison nodded, waiting for her to continue.

"I feel the same way. Something's missing when you're gone. It feels better like this, when you're here," she said, her voice getting softer as she spoke.

"Then we're on the same page," Ali said, leaning in again.

"Ali!" This time it wasn't Em. Jason was banging at the door. "Ali, open up or I'll get the key!"

"God, we can't get by two seconds without some kind of interruption," Ali complained.

Emily leaned back on the pillows with a little groan. "You should probably get that."

Ali rolled off of Emily's legs and went to her bedroom door. "What do you want?" she demanded.

Jason's eyes were rimmed with red and it smelled like he and his friends were having a party. Stoned already. What a picture.

"Your friends are downstairs. They were ringing the doorbell for hours," he said.

"Hours?" Ali raised an eyebrow.

"Hours, minutes. Time isn't real anyway. Point is they're waiting."

"They would've told me if they were coming," Ali said. "I think you're lying, and I can't wait till Mom comes home and sees her son is high as a kite."

"Alison, we can hear you up there!" came Hanna's unmistakable voice.

Jason smirked at his sister because for once, he was right and she was wrong. "Don't look at me like that," Alison told him.

"If you're here then come upstairs!" she called out. She went back in her room, frustrated, as she heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs.

"I didn't frickin invite them," Ali huffed, crossing her arms. "They should've just stayed home."

"Ali, it's no big deal," Emily said quietly. "Be nice. They don't know what's going on."

"I see you two were having fun without us," Aria said as she walked into the room alongside Spencer and Hanna.

"Rude!" Hanna exclaimed. "And why are you guys watching TV in Spanish?" she asked as she grabbed for the remote to change it.

Ali yanked the remote from her friend's hands. "It's _French_ , Hanna! Don't touch it. It's to help Emily learn."

"This was your great plan to teach her?" Spencer asked in disbelief. "I knew it. I should've tutored her."

"Just shut up!" Ali burst out, glaring at Spencer and Hanna.

"Ali, you need to calm down," Emily said firmly.

The blonde forced herself to take a deep breath because the last thing she wanted to do was disappoint Em. Again. The rational part of her brain told her she was overreacting, even though right now it felt like her friends were here solely to annoy her and ruin everything.

"You weren't responding to our texts so we came to check on you," Aria explained.

Alison remembered she'd turned her phone off. It was unnecessary for her friends to check on her, but the fact that they cared at all was oddly comforting. If something really did happen with A, they would be there for her.

"Okay," she relented. "I didn't mean to yell at you guys. Since you're all here, we can do something else for now, I guess."

"We can do whatever you guys want, but I'm taking this popcorn," Hanna announced, grabbing the bucket Em had left on Ali's nightstand.

Ali was tempted to respond to that with a nasty comment. Knowing it wouldn't go over well, she restrained herself. Instead, she tried to think of something they could do that didn't involve the movies. A sharp round of laughter rang from down the hall, and it gave her an idea.

"I know where Jason hides his alcohol. I say we steal a bottle."

* * *

Emily didn't have much experience with drinking. Unlike Alison and Spencer, she didn't have older siblings sneaking alcohol into the house. She'd never even had a sip until one night when Hanna smuggled some stolen wine to their sleepover. That was her first time drinking and her only time being drunk.

She remembered waking up the next morning with a pounding headache and her head in Ali's lap. For the next twelve hours, she'd been jumpy and on the verge of tears. She told the girls her mom would kill her if she smelled alcohol on her, so on and so forth, but the real reason behind her panic was that she couldn't remember what she'd done the night before. If drunken words are sober thoughts, it was a terrible gamble for her to let her guard down and risk her little secret slipping out.

It didn't help that Ali gave her a sly smile every time she begged to know what happened. In the end, it turned out to be nothing. Or at least that's what Ali told her when it became obvious she was on the verge of an emotional breakdown and the teasing wasn't fun anymore. According to her, even if Emily had been totally obvious, the other girls were too drunk to remember a thing.

With Alison, every word had to be taken with a grain of salt because even truths could be sprinkled with little lies and omissions. But over half a year had passed since that incident and the other girls still didn't suspect anything, so she was safe for now.

It boggled her mind how Alison could drink without worry of revealing any of the secrets she kept stored away in her thoughts. Emily couldn't afford to be that careless. She settled on sipping on her drink to calm her nerves. It tasted terrible at first, but soon her body felt warm and her muscles relaxed automatically.

It wasn't enough to get drunk. She wasn't making that mistake tonight. Some of her friends were drinking more than she was; she could tell by the way they started laughing louder and Hanna's speech began to slur. Once Spencer grabbed her phone and started texting one of Melissa's ex-boyfriends, Alison snatched it from her, saying she'd thank her in the morning, and ordered the girls to pick a new game. Soon after, truth or dare was outvoted in favor of Cards Against Humanity.

"Have you ever heard of this game?" Alison asked Emily. She sat close to her as she shuffled the pack of white cards. She looked so perfect and Emily wished they were still alone, tangled together on Ali's bed, piecing together what the new normal meant for them. She wanted to lean over and kiss her, but she wasn't tipsy enough to forget that the other girls were only a few feet away.

"No, but I've played Apples to Apples. That's one of my favorites," Emily responded finally, once she had snapped out of her momentary distraction.

"This one's a little different, Mermaid," Ali told her, and Em blushed at the pet name. "In fact, I think you should be on my team. I honestly can't picture you reading half of these cards. They're, like, wayyy inappropriate."

"I can handle it," Emily insisted.

Alison handed her one of the white cards. A huge grin spread across her face as she waited for Emily to read it.

"Pac-Man uncontrollably…wait…oh my God," Emily's eyes widened before she could finish reading it and her automatic reaction was to look to Alison in horror. "Some living, breathing person actually thought of this? What kind of game is this?"

The girls burst into laughter over Emily's traumatized expression. Ali leaned over into Emily as she laughed, laying against her shoulder but kind of pressing into her chest at the same time. "See, this is what I meant," she said, her voice muffled. "You're so adorable."

"I wasn't trying to be funny. Seriously, why would anyone write that? It's so messed up." Normally, Emily would have felt more embarrassed, but she was strangely at ease. It felt nice to have Ali so close. Without moving the girl off of her, she leaned over and grabbed some more of the profane cards. Without reading them aloud, she crinkled her nose at them and feigned shock, partly because what was written there was actually horrific, but mostly to get another reaction out of Alison.

"I'll take those," Ali said between giggles. "It would be a crime to corrupt you. I refuse to do it unless you ask me to." She finally pulled herself away from the swimmer's body, but she still kept one hand positioned firmly on Emily's thigh.

Emily didn't think anything of it until she saw Hanna staring at them. Her expression was unclear; it could have been one of deep thought or just a glazed over, drunken stare at nothing in particular. When Hanna realized Emily had noticed, she sat up straighter and pretended to be occupied with her red solo cup. Hanna never was one for subtlety. Luckily, Aria seemed to be in her own little world and Spencer was still looking wistfully at the cell phone Ali had ordered her not to use.

It was hard not to be aware of Hanna's blatant staring every few minutes after the game started. Emily mainly watched as the others played, choosing to curl up on the ground beside Ali as she selected cards for them. She could feel drowsiness setting in, but she wouldn't allow her eyes to droop.

Then someone made a card combination linking the end of a relationship to a micropenis and Hanna jokingly asked if it had any connection to Emily's recent break up.

"Pfff, she never even had sex with him. Thank God for that," Ali remarked.

Emily looked over at her, somewhat alarmed and at a loss for words. "We're not talking about this," she said, pressing her lips together.

"HMMMMM," Hanna hummed loudly before taking another sip of her drink.

"What's that sound supposed to mean?" Spencer asked.

"I'd like to know, too," Ali agreed. She narrowed her eyes in the other blonde's direction. "What are you thinking, Han?"

Hanna pointed a finger in the air. "I have a lottt of thoughts about a lotofthings," she slurred. Aria and Spencer gave her an ' _oh really?'_ expression. Emily felt her throat tighten. This wouldn't end well.

After a delay and a little hiccup, Hanna added, "And my eyes have noticed some things tonight. And I have thoughts. Lots of them," she said, staring matter-of-factly at Emily and Alison again.

Alison's narrowed eyes had turned into a full out glare. "Spill it, Hanna. We don't know what the hell you're trying to say and it's wasting our time."

"I just think it's weird that Em dated this guy for _months_ and they never even-"

"Says the virgin," Ali cut her off. "As if you ever slept with Sean."

"Hey that was his choice, NOT mine," Hanna corrected her. "And Ben was too hormonal to make that choice AND you and Emily keep being all secretive AND you're being all touchy-touchy with your hand."

"Hanna, you sound _really_ drunk. You should drink some water," Emily said before Ali could lash out at the girl. Ali's jaw was clenched and she looked about two seconds from an outburst.

"Touchy-touchy with the hand? Hanna, what does that even mean?" Aria almost snorted.

"Hanna knows what Hanna means," she responded, earning a loud laugh from everyone but Alison.

"She's definitely drunk," Spencer said.

"Don't judge her too much. You were texting Melissa's boyfriend not even thirty minutes ago," Emily reminded her. "Didn't you say one time that Spencer's a flirty drunk?" she asked Ali, nudging the girl gently.

Ali glanced up at her, the annoyance on her face ebbing away. A small smile graced her lips. "She totally is," she said with a nod.

"No, I'm nottt. Let's just get back to the game," Spencer huffed.

Crisis averted. Emily allowed herself to lie back down as the others played, staying close but not too close to Alison. After a few minutes, her eyes started to droop again. Her body felt heavy, like she was on a heavy dose of Nyquil.

She wasn't sure when she'd fallen asleep; it felt like she had only just closed her eyes when a hand on her shoulder prodded her awake. She rolled over, suddenly aware that she was still sprawled out on the bedroom floor, and looked up to see Ali.

"Hey," Ali said. "You should go lie on the bed. The floor can't be comfortable." She extended an arm and helped the swimmer up.

"I don't remember falling asleep," Emily said, yawning.

"All of you did," Ali told her. Sure enough, the other three were sound asleep. Spencer was curled up in one of Ali's white leather chairs, her mouth slightly agape. Aria was on the floor, hugging a pillow to her face so that only her pink-streaked hair was visible and Hanna was curled in a bundle of sheets at the foot of the bed.

"They're kind of cute, aren't they? Not as cute as you, of course, but still cute," Ali said, grinning at Em because she knew it would make her blush.

"One of these days, I'm going to catch you on guard with a comment like that. Just you wait," the brunette said as she made her way to the bed.

She wasn't sure if Alison took her words seriously, but the girl nodded nonetheless. "I'll be looking forward to it."

It was difficult to stretch out on the bed because Hanna was lying at the edge of it. Emily settled on curling up and scooting over so there would be room for one more person. She watched quietly as Alison pulled some blankets out of her closet and rested two of them over Aria and Spencer's sleeping forms. It was moments like these, quiet moments when no one else was watching, that Alison was gentle and kind. Anyone watching her right now couldn't deny that she cared about her friends.

Alison shut off the lights and brought the last blanket over to the bed since Hanna had already stolen most of the covers. She settled in next to Emily, draping the blanket over them, and the brunette's heart started racing from her proximity.

"Sorry movie night was a bust," Ali whispered, rolling over to face Em. The room was dark, but the electronic clock on Alison's dresser cast enough light to partially illuminate her face.

"It wasn't a bust. We all had fun," Emily assured her. "I just hope Hanna doesn't have a lot to say in the morning."

"No one listened to her anyway. She was hardly making sense."

"I know, but…" Em trailed off, quickly losing her train of thought. Hanna probably wouldn't have put so much effort into scrutinizing them if Ali hadn't been more affectionate than usual. Emily expected it French class or whenever they were alone. When the girls were around, Ali was usually more distant. More cautious. She'd probably be humiliated if the others knew all of what happened between them.

That realization stung, but Emily would be a hypocrite to blame her considering she was closeted herself. Emily still wasn't ready for the world to see who she really was, and everyone knew how protective Alison was of secrets. The alcohol must have influenced the blonde's behavior tonight. She obviously wasn't full out drunk like Hanna, but it still could have chipped away her inhibitions. Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.

Ali was quiet for a while. Then she moved slightly closer to Emily and said, "Do you think Hanna was right? Was I being too touchy-feely in front of the girls?"

"You didn't do anything wrong," Emily said, and she watched Alison's concerned expression wash over with relief. "That's what we decided we wanted, right? Touchy-feely is way better than distance or fighting."

"Definitely," Ali agreed. She took the swimmer's words as a cue to snuggle closer. She wrapped an arm around Emily's waist and rested her head in the crook of her neck. Em was positive Ali could hear her racing heart. Silly as it sounded, the quick beat felt like the loudest thing in the room. Alison's uneven breathing was probably the next loudest thing.

Emily wanted to break the silence, maybe say some poetic French phrase if she actually knew any. Ali would like that. She made a mental note to look one up, but she still didn't know what to do right now, in this moment. She felt more awake than she had all night and she knew they both wanted something more than to go to sleep and pretend to be strictly platonic friends as soon as the sun rose.

Something between anxiousness and anticipation stirred in her chest. "Hey, Ali…" she said quietly to get the girl's attention.

Alison leaned up and Emily could see the same anticipation mirrored in her eyes. Without another thought, the brunette leaned forward and connected their lips, finally. The little peck that happened earlier hardly counted. She'd wanted this feeling back since their kiss at the lake. No, she'd wanted this feeling for over two years, and it was always just out of reach. Not anymore.

The warmth of Alison's touch was intoxicating. Bow-shaped lips brushed against her own again and again. She could feel hands sweep across exposed skin, leaving a trail of electricity wherever they went. Breaking the kiss, Ali wrapped her arms around Emily again, attempting to pull her on top. The bed creaked slightly as they repositioned themselves, causing Hanna to stir but not wake up.

Ali placed a finger to her lips. They were both quiet for a moment. Hanna settled back into a heavy sleep at the bottom edge of the bed and the only sound was Alison and Emily's shallow breaths.

"We need to be quiet," Ali murmured. She leaned in close again until they were a breath apart and pulled Emily into another kiss. This one was harder, more urgent, but she was careful to not move around or make too much noise. It was hard for Em to keep herself from making a sound of content.

Eventually they rolled back over to their sides and Hanna shifted again. She was probably just moving in her sleep- Hanna was never the most peaceful sleeper- but it was enough to bring Emily back to reality. At this rate, all of the girls would know her secret soon. Surprisingly, the thought didn't scare her as much as it had only a month ago. These were their best friends, after all.

"What do you think would happen if the girls knew about this?" Emily asked softly. Her heart was still beating fast, but now it was less from excitement.

"Don't worry, they won't find out," Ali said, not seeming to understand Emily's train of thought. "This will stay our little secret, okay?"

"Okay." Emily forced herself to nod. Secrecy meant safety. Ali's words shouldn't be a surprise, but Emily still had that feeling in her gut that she was an embarrassment. Thinking of her sexuality as something to be ashamed off was taking a toll on her. "I'm going to get some rest," she said, faking a yawn.

"Oh, okay," Ali said, sounding a little disappointed. She pulled the blanket back up so it covered both of them. "Good night, Em."

Emily closed her eyes and started counting down from one hundred in her mind. That was usually a surefire way to fall asleep. She was about halfway through and starting to lose track of the numbers when she heard a faint clicking noise. It sounded like something was tapping against a metal surface. She reminded herself that houses made weird noises at night. Nothing to get worked up over.

There was another noise, this time a little louder. Almost like a creak. Emily opened her eyes to make sure Ali or the other girls hadn't moved. She realized the door was cracked open even though she was facing away from it. More light had entered the room and the girls' shadows were stretched across the wall. Six shadows.

Emily knew she should jump up and confront whoever was in the room, but she was frozen in fear. They could have a weapon. They could be dangerous. Each second felt like an hour as Emily watched the figure's shadow move to the corner of the room and grab something from the wall. Silently, the figure slinked away.

When it was nearly out of the room, about to close the door, Emily shot up to get a glimpse of the intruder. They were gone in a second, but it was enough time to see the person was most definitely a man.

It had to be Jason, right? The adrenaline flowing through Emily's veins turned to anger, and she was suddenly furious. No wonder Ali was always so worried about people keeping tabs on her. She wasn't even entitled to privacy in her own bedroom in the middle of the night.

Emily pushed the blanket off and started following the intruder. "I saw what you did!" she yelled down the hallway. She thought about grabbing some sort of weapon in case she had to defend herself. The only remotely sharp thing on Ali's dresser was a glass Eiffel Tower figure. That wouldn't work.

"Emily? What's going on?" Ali asked, going from asleep to wide awake in the blink of an eye. Spencer asked a similar question and Aria and Hanna were rubbing their eyes.

"He was in your room! He unlocked the door!" Emily said. Hysteria was still rising inside of her and she didn't know why she suddenly felt close to tears.

"Stay here. I mean it," Ali commanded the girls. She was up a second later, fuming as she walked out the door. "I told you to stay out my room!" she screamed, louder than Em had.

Emily decided to follow her friend anyway. "Ali, why is your mom still not home? She needs to be here. I'll call her for you."

Alison didn't answer. She opened Jason's door, slamming it with more force than necessary. Emily looked over her shoulder. Ali's brother was knocked out on his unmade bed. Two other guys were standing nearby. One she recognized as Garrett Reynolds, who'd lived down the street from her when she was young. The other young man was holding a camcorder. He looked vaguely familiar as well.

"For the last time, leave me alone, unless you want me to show your girlfriend every nasty film you've made with that camera," Ali spat at him.

"You sure you want to do that, little girl? I should remind you that you were part of some of these home movies. If I go down, so do you," he said, stepping forward slightly. He noticed Emily standing behind her. "I see you brought a body guard."

"You're the one threatening her, aren't you?" Emily snapped. "If you want to drag people into your drama, you should start with someone your own age."

The guy only laughed at that. It suddenly occurred to Emily who he was. He was always around Spencer's older sister.

"Let's get to the point, Ian. Were you filming us?" Ali demanded. Her hands were clenched into fists.

"With this?" he asked, holding up his camera. "I think you would've noticed it in your room. I was just getting a bug we forgot in there a while ago, during one of our parties. Battery's probably dead. If you play nice and forget this happened, I'll be nice too and delete anything that might be on there. I'm not a bad person, Alison. I'm reasonable and I know you are, too."

"Fine. Just delete it and stay out of my room," Ali hissed. "Come on," she told Emily. "We're done here."

Emily shook her head. "No, we're not. What's going on, Ali? I was trying to give you space, but clearly the problem is bigger than you made it out to be."

"I'm fine. I'm taking care of it," Alison said, folding her arms as she walked back down the hallway. She sniffled a little and Emily stopped in her tracks, worried Ali might start crying. She'd never seen that before.

"I'm just trying to help you," Emily told her.

"I know, I know. Look, if you really want to know, wait until tomorrow, after the girls are gone. Right now you can help by finding my phone. It's somewhere in my room," she said. She took a deep breath and just like that, she was fully composed again.

Aria, Spencer, and Hanna were all huddled near the doorway. "What was that about?" Aria asked.

"They're just being idiots like usual. They realized we broke into their drinks," Ali lied. "Let's go back to sleep."

Just like that, the problem had blown over. As Emily retrieved Ali's phone, she wondered what kind of secrets were strong enough to break Alison.

* * *

Ali knelt down beside her air vent and, with shaking hands, pulled it away from the wall. She still wasn't sure she wanted to do this, but Emily knew too much already, and if she had to pick anyone to trust, it would be her. The brunette was sitting on her bed, watching her quietly, looking both confused and expectant.

The girl was braver than Ali usually gave her credit for. All this time, she'd felt a need to shelter her. Protect the light inside of her so she'd never have to learn the truth about the world. It wasn't all sunshine and rosy hues. There were nasty sides to humanity, death and darkness and danger, but maybe Emily could face it and deal with it better than Alison had.

Mermaids weren't only known for goddess-like beauty. In those old myths, they made pretty good fighters, too.

"Can you take my poster off the wall?" Ali asked Emily. When the girl gave her a puzzled look, she explained further. "I taped a key to the back of it. I need it to open a box."

Emily complied silently, taking down the framed French poster that read "les petites filles ont tout le plaisir." She examined the words and the picture of a blonde girl's face split in two halves on the front before flipping it over and retrieving the key. She handed it to Alison, who had just pulled a dusty old box out of her air vent hiding spot.

Ali's heart thumped as she turned the key and pulled out the "gifts" A had given her. She handed Emily the most recent doll she'd gotten, a little replica of herself wearing a beautiful dress stained by dirt and blood.

"I've been getting these at my doorstep," Ali said, swallowing hard. She uncurled the message that came with the doll. "This summer will be one to _die_ for," she read aloud, almost choking on her words. It was a lot easier to pretend the death threats didn't affect her when they were locked away. Reading them was harder than she expected.

Emily looked at the dolls in disbelief. "I can't believe you didn't tell anyone about this sooner. This is dangerous, Ali." She went a little pale in the face, but soon she was scowling and she looked upset as she had the night before. "Do you think Ian did this? If he did, I swear I'm going to-"

"It's not him," Ali cut her off.

"How do you know?" Emily demanded. "He's a sick person. He put a recording device in your room!"

"I know because the person threatening me is after him, too. His videos, I mean," Ali said. She grabbed her phone and struggled to press the right buttons to unlock it. Stupid shaking hands. Finally, she was able to open her texts.

"Give me Ian's flash drive by Monday morning or I send everyone pictures of you and Girl Crush. Tick tock, bitch. –A," Ali read aloud, frowning when she finished. "I bet the bitch saw us that day at the lake. This is the worst," she said, burying her head in her hands.

"I wouldn't call it the _worst_ ," Emily said, even though she looked frightened as well. "I'm pretty sure death threats are worse than the possibility of being outed."

"It might as well be the same thing," Ali said without thinking.

"Whatever, Ali. Let's just find the flash drive then so we can save your reputation," Emily said, and it was only then the blonde realized there was something more bothering her.

"I didn't mean it like that," Alison corrected herself. "I care about you. You have to know that by now. But have you met my dad? Or your mom? Or ninety percent of the population of Rosewood? I can't let A out whatever this is we have. We'll never live it down."

"Okay, then let's go find the flash drive," Emily repeated. She turned away from Ali as she leaned down and grabbed her shoes.

"Emily, stop. You're free to help me if you want to, but don't do it if you're mad at me. Last I checked, you weren't ready to be thrown out the closet. Why the sudden change?"

"I don't know. It's just…" Emily stopped herself. "It doesn't matter. What's happening to you is a lot more important. I don't want to make this about me."

"You don't have to be selfless all the time, you know," Ali said. It didn't look like Emily was going to respond to that, so she cleared her throat and added, "I wish I could change things, Em. The world would be more accepting and there would be no A because I wouldn't make stupid mistakes and piss people off."

Brown eyes looked back in her direction. It was hard to hold her gaze, so Ali looked over at the French poster lying on the floor. She stared hard at the picture of the girl's face divided in two.

"I didn't want you to see this part of me," she continued. "I know you liked me because you thought I was some larger than life person."

"I did at first," Emily said, "but I told you I know you're not the person you pretend to be, remember? And guess what? I'm still here. I still like you and I want to help you. So come on. Let's search your brother's room before he gets back." She extended an arm, helping Ali up.

Alison felt another flutter of affection for the tan-skinned girl in front of her. She couldn't comprehend why Emily chose to stick around, but she was grateful for her presence and the protection she offered. She knew there was still something bothering Em, though, and she needed to make it right before the problem could escalate. They needed to talk about it before Monday because, as much as it scared Ali, there was a legitimate possibility that they could be outed by then.

Ali had only just begun to figure out her own feelings. How was she supposed to deal with the world knowing when only a few weeks ago, she couldn't even admit to herself that she was anything less than perfectly straight. She didn't even know if she and Emily were on track to becoming something more, or if they were just friends who would continue to hang out and sometimes make out.

No doubt, Emily wanted more than that. She deserved more. Alison couldn't deal with the whole world knowing, but maybe she could make an exception for the other girls, if it would put a smile on Emily's face. Then they could be more open and Ali could kiss her without worrying that she was overstepping boundaries or putting secrets at risk. It was worth discussing at the very least, even if her stomach was still in knots from nervousness.

"Let's go find that flash drive," Ali said, holding onto Em's hand and interlocking their fingers. "Then we can talk more about the new normal. I have an idea of what I want it to be."


	5. Cinq

**A/N: Another long one! Fingers crossed that something happens between Emily and Alison in the March 20 finale. Their roles are almost completely reversed now. As always, thanks for reading and reviewing!**

* * *

 _May 2009_

"Ali, what are you doing?" Emily asked, her expression perplexed as she looked out her open bedroom window. Alison was standing outside her house, wearing black clothes that made her blend in with the night. She would be completely camouflaged by darkness if it weren't for the tall light poles that lined the street.

"I'll explain in a second. I need you to get your fire escape ladder so I can climb up," Ali told her.

She hadn't exactly planned on showing up at Emily's house so abruptly, but it was already Sunday night and time was ticking away for both of them. Ali paced around in the grass while she waited for Em to find the ladder. A minute later, the swimmer secured one end of the chain link ladder to her windowsill and tossed the other end outside. Alison latched onto the unsteady chains and pulled herself up, moving slowly until she reached the second-story window.

Emily helped pull her inside. "You know, you could've just used the front door," Emily said. She still looked confused, but there was a smile tugging at the edges of her lips and a glimmer of awe in her eyes.

That look gave Alison a burst of confidence. She knew the brunette still liked her even when she was vulnerable, Lord knows why, but it was impossible to forget that Emily fell for her daring side. After all, who else but Alison DiLaurentis would show up outside of her window late on a school night and invite her on a secret mission?

"I doubt your mother would appreciate me stealing you away at this time of night, and she definitely wouldn't approve of what we're about to do," Ali said. She shrugged her bag off her shoulders and pulled out some more black clothing.

"What exactly are we doing? Breaking and entering?" Emily asked jokingly as she eyed the clothes.

"Actually, yes."

Emily's eyebrows shot up at that so Alison rushed to explain. "I tracked Ian at a party last night. He had the flash drive and his laptop with him, and then he brought everything back to his place and locked it up somewhere. We have to search his room now, while he's with Jason. This is the only chance we have."

"A needs it by tomorrow morning," Emily said, biting her lip. "I guess you're right. We have to do this."

Alison handed her a plain black t-shirt, jeans, gloves, and a beanie. Though Em wasn't saying much, Ali could sense her apprehension. "We'll be fine. I promise I won't let anything happen to you."

Emily took a deep breath. "Okay. I trust you," she assured the blonde. "Let's see if I can pull off the burglar look."

"Please, you could pull off any look," Alison responded automatically. She forced herself to look down as Emily pulled her shirt over her head and exchanged it for the darker one. No need to make things awkward. There wasn't one point in their friendship that Alison thought of Emily as anything less than beautiful, but it was different now that the compliments she gave weren't strictly platonic. She was still piecing together each little flicker of emotion she felt in hopes of finding some greater understanding. It still took her off-guard when she'd look at Emily and suddenly lose track of whatever was on her mind. For someone who always knew what to say, it was strange to have words get caught in her throat.

Catching sight of the swimmer's toned legs as she stepped into the jeans nearly made Ali's thoughts go blank again. Instead, she looked around the homey bedroom, first at the window seat where she'd climbed in. Her eyes trailed across the warm yellow walls and eventually landed on Em's bed. She noticed for the first time that it was covered with textbooks and countless papers. Ali recognized some of the color-coded French vocabulary sheets she'd made nearly two months ago.

"I see you've been studying. Do we have a test I forgot about?" Ali asked.

"Finals are next week," Emily reminded her. "I need all the study time I can get. Spencer said that if I bomb the final, it will drop my grade to a D in French."

"Spencer's a pessimist," Ali said decisively. "You're not gonna bomb the final. I'll make sure of it."

"You're not going to break in the system and change my grade, are you?"

Ali shrugged in response. "That depends on you. If it's something you want, I'll make it happen."

It wouldn't be the first time she'd broken into confidential records. The only reason Emily was in French to begin with was because she'd taken the liberty of altering her schedule. She'd offered to rig student government elections for Spencer and change Hanna's attendance reports, so why wouldn't she do the same for Em?

"Don't do it," Em told her. "I want whatever grade I earn, even if it's not the greatest."

"Okay," Ali agreed, nodding along slowly. Little things like that reminded her that Emily was her opposite in many ways. If she had moral concerns over an insignificant grade…

"You don't have to come with me to Ian's if you're uncomfortable," Alison said, mentally slapping herself for not thinking to ask Emily how she felt about it earlier.

Emily shook her head defiantly. "No, we have to do it. It's the only way to help you. And, anyway, Ian lost all rights to privacy the second he broke into your bedroom. He deserves _everything_ that's coming his way." She pulled a jacket from her closet and put it on as she examined herself in the mirror.

For a time, Alison had thought Emily was fairly predictable. Now, more often than not, the girl was surprising her. She arched an eyebrow at the brunette and joined her by the mirror, wrapping her arms around the girl's waist just because she could. She couldn't help but think they looked good together; Emily's tan skin and nearly black hair contrasted nicely with her own lighter tones. Almost like yin and yang, but if personality was the standard, Ali would be the darker half.

"You almost ready to go?" Alison asked.

"Yeah, I'll be ready in a second."

Ali pulled her hoodie up to cover her long blonde locks while her friend put on shoes. Then Emily grabbed something off her bed amid the scattered papers and stuffed it in her pocket in one swift motion.

"What was that?" Ali asked, tilting her head curiously.

"It's nothing," Emily said too quickly. "Just a little flashlight in case we need one."

Ali narrowed her eyes but decided not to push further and catch her in a lie. "I have one in my bag, but that's cool. Back-ups never hurt," she played along.

The two of them climbed down the ladder until they were close enough to jump off onto the dew-covered ground. The streets were nearly empty and the only notable sound was the whirring of locusts in the tops of trees. It wasn't even eleven o'clock and the whole town had shut down. Aside from a portion of the high school and college population, the people of Rosewood were so straight-laced.

The Fields family definitely fell into that category. She felt a little guilty for stealing Emily away from her study time. She would have to fix that.

"Here's some French for you: _C'est une mission secrete_ ," Alison said. "Any idea what that means?"

"Secret mission, I'm guessing? I don't have to know any French to recognize those words," Emily said, looking at Alison with an amused expression.

"Okay, Fields. So much for going easy on you." Ali pursed her lips and thought of another sentence. "How about this one? _Vous êtes plus courageux…_ um… _que je pense_ ," she said, faltering at the end because even her French wasn't flawless. She wasn't sure if her sentence structure was correct, but she knew what she was trying to say and she hoped Emily would, too.

Emily knitted her brows as she thought about it. "I think this would be easier if the words were written down. The only thing I got from that is 'you are'," she said finally.

"You're a lot braver than I thought. That's the translation," Ali said, not wanting to drag out the game this time. "Not many people are willing to run face-first into a dangerous situation."

"I wouldn't call it brave," Emily said doubtfully. "It's just…something that has to be done. There's not much of a choice."

"There's always a choice. You've continuously chosen to stand by me," Ali said.

It was quiet for a while after that. Even though it was nearly summer, it was surprisingly chilly outside. Ali stuck her hands in her pockets and continued to lead the way to Ian's. Just a couple of blocks more. She really should've taken her dad's car. He was away on business; no one would've noticed it was gone.

"Hey, Ali," Emily said, breaking the silence. "Did you mean what you said yesterday? Are you really okay with telling the girls? I've been thinking and I've decided I'm really not ready to be outed, but I want them to know. They wouldn't judge."

Ali had tentatively presented the idea after they searched Jason's room the day before. She made no concrete promises, but she'd been doing some thinking on the subject, too. "The girls knowing wouldn't be the worst case scenario. They'll come up with some totally embarrassing jokes, I'm sure, but I don't think they would tell anyone else. They wouldn't hurt you."

"Us," Emily corrected her. "They wouldn't do anything to hurt either of us."

"Yeah," Ali agreed even though she wasn't convinced her other friends were as loyal as Emily. There was always a voice in the back of her mind telling her that one day her friends would finally become fed up enough to leave her.

"I'm just so sick of hiding. I've had this part of me bottled up for years," Emily sighed.

That sad, doe-eyed look was Alison's weakness. She shot her friend a sympathetic glance. "Secrets hurt sometimes, don't they? Let them stick around too long and they'll weigh you down. It won't feel like that much longer. Let's just get through tomorrow, and then we can talk to the girls."

Emily nodded. "I'd like that," she responded quietly.

"That's Ian's house over there," Ali said, pointing out a large house with red brick and beige stucco.

"We're actually doing this," Emily said to herself, as if the realization was just sinking in.

Alison ambled toward the house and automatically checked under the doormat for a spare key. She groaned when there was nothing to be found. "Em, check on top the door frame," she said to the taller girl.

"Isn't that a little too obvious?" Emily asked, but she complied nonetheless.

"You'd be surprised how much people devalue safety. Some even sleep with their doors unlocked because Rosewood is oh-so-safe," Ali said, scrunching her nose. She pulled out a bobby pin as a back-up plan and began twisting it around until it made a suitable lock pick.

"There's no key up here," Emily whispered.

"That's fine. I can pick it." Ali jammed the bobby pin into the door and tried to twist it. She'd done it before, but it was never an easy task, especially when the knobs themselves were complicated.

Emily watched her for a few seconds. Then she craned her neck to look around the side of the house. "I'm going check to see if there are any cars in the driveway."

The blonde nodded and continued working with the bobby pin. After a while of struggling, the mechanisms inside the knob finally gave way and she was able to turn the lock. Just when it seemed the door would open, it got caught again.

"Shit," Alison cursed under her breath. She moved the pin to the deadbolt, applying pressure to the lock to force it open.

"Watch out," Emily told her, and it was only then Ali realized the girl was standing behind her again. The brunette inserted a dull silver key into the deadbolt and turned it with little effort. "I found it in a flowerpot."

"See, this is why I need you here," Ali said, flashing her a grateful smile.

Both girls tiptoed into the house and made an effort to make as little noise as humanly possible while closing the door and locking it behind them. The entrance opened up to a living room that was well-adorned. It was clear that Ian's family had money, but the furniture and decorations were unmistakably old in style. The crosses and framed quotes on the wall reminded Alison of her grandmother's home in Georgia.

She couldn't remember if Jason had mentioned Ian staying with his grandparents over summer break. If old people lived here, hopefully they were heavy sleepers with terrible hearing.

Alison slinked through the kitchen and down a hallway, her footsteps so light they were all but silent. Emily was right behind her, reminding her that she wasn't alone in the darkness. The brunette stepped on a weak spot on the floor, resulting in a loud creak that made both of them freeze in place. Ali looked over her shoulder and, seeing no one, declared it safe to move forward.

The first door they carefully opened revealed a bathroom. The second was undoubtedly Ian's room; weird movies posters lined the walls and a large computer monitor sat on a desk at the edge of the room. Ian's bed was a sloppy mess and everything smelled like cheap beer.

Ali flicked the light switch once both she and Emily were safely in the room. Almost immediately, she headed for the computer to check the USB port for flash drives. Emily stayed near the center of the room, looking around with narrowed eyes. The blonde turned back and looked at her questioningly.

"Why do you think A sent you to do this when they could've done it themselves?" Emily asked. She looked around the room again, focusing on the ceiling. "What if there's a camera in here? What if we're being set up?"

Alison paused. She hadn't considered the possibility of cameras, but it was likely considering Ian was obsessed with filming people. "If we get the flash drive with his videos, he won't be able to blackmail me. And it's not like he can go to the cops without outing himself as a peeping tom," she sneered.

"Hey, Ian, this is what I think of your crappy little cameras," she said, flipping off his webcam. She clenched her fists and she wasn't sure what had brought on this sudden rush of anger. All she could think was that she hated Ian and she couldn't fathom why she'd ever liked him. That was before, way before, when it was all just a game and getting an older guy's attention was exciting. Then his friends started coming into her room and harassing her while he sat back and filmed everything, and it wasn't so exciting anymore.

Ali hadn't spoken about that in great detail to anyone, but she had a feeling Emily and Spencer knew after she ended up running next door in distress one night. She could still picture her barely-composed, glassy-eyed reflection in the window as Em and Spence approached her from behind. The memory made her cringe. God, she was so _stupid_ to let her emotions shine through like that. It made her look weak and pathetic.

The only way to fix the problem was to find the videos. "The flash drive could be anywhere," she told Emily. "You take that side of the room and I'll search this half."

She watched as Emily started rummaging through drawers and checking under them. She turned back to the computer and did the same with every compartment of the desk. They searched under his rug and behind his bookcase that was completely devoid of books and inside a medicine bottle they found under his bed.

The closet was going to take a lifetime to sort through. While Emily checked the pockets of hanging coats, Alison returned to the computer desk. She couldn't help but think that the flash drive had to be hidden somewhere really close so that Ian could easily reach it while sitting in this spot.

She traced her fingers over the keyboard and the computer itself, looking for any irregularities. On the computer box that stood separate from the monitor, there was a slight scuff on the side. It looked like it had been scratched by nails, or maybe something sharp like a screwdriver. The plastic covering was uneven in one spot. It had been pried open before.

Alison tried to use her fingers to make the tiny crack open wider, but it wouldn't budge. She picked up a pair of scissors from Ian's desk and used one of the sharp edges to pry it open. The whole back side of the case unsnapped at once, revealing a compartment inside alongside computer chips, wires, and a fan. Underneath a wad of cash was a thin black flash drive.

"Got it!" Ali declared louder than she'd intended.

"Just in time. I was getting sick of going through these clothes," Emily said, shutting the closet. "So that's where he keeps all his videos?"

"He saves them here so there's no record of evidence on his computers," Ali said. "Though I'm tempted to pour that glass of whiskey we found on top all these computer wires. You know, just in case," she said, smiling innocently despite the glint of mischief in her eyes.

"Let's not push our luck, Ali," Emily reasoned. "There's no point in leaving behind more any more evidence. Ian can't tell anyone about the stolen flash drive, but I think his family would notice something is up if the most expensive computer in the house short-circuits out of nowhere."

"Ugh, fine," Ali conceded. After stuffing the flash drive in her pocket, she settled on taking some cash out of his compartment. Then she strolled around the room, looking for anything else she could do to inconvenience him without making too big of a scene.

"What does Ian's car look like?" Emily asked suddenly.

Ali looked up to see her standing by the window. A sense of dread filled her at once, followed by panic once she saw a flash of light that could only be from a car pulling in the driveway. She lunged for the bedroom light and shut it off. "We need to leave, now!" she cried, taking Emily by the arm in an attempt to drag her to safety.

Pushing open a window, Ali climbed over a piece of furniture to hoist herself up and out of the room. At least the bedroom was on the first floor. She heard the sound of the front door closing shut just as her feet touched the ground. Emily climbed through after and shut the window behind her. Before it had even closed, Ali took off running.

Her heart thumped and adrenaline propelled her forward. She turned her head back, checking on Emily, who had started sprinting after her and was a few strides behind. It didn't take long for Emily to catch up and pass her. She was an athlete, after all. Alison ran after her, following her into a long stretch of woods that stood behind the houses.

Once they were in the safe confines of the trees, Ali stopped and held onto a tree for support while she attempted to catch her breath. Her legs hurt and she was exhausted, but there was a certain thrill in living on the edge of danger.

"That was exhilarating," Ali said between breaths.

"I was thinking something more along the lines of terrifying," Emily responded. She was sitting on the grassy ground, knees pulled to her chest, with a traumatized look in her wide eyes.

Sweet, innocent Emily was sitting by her in burglar clothes after helping her break into a house. The realization made Alison hold back a laugh.

"Why are you smiling?"

"No reason," she said, kneeling down beside the brunette. She kissed the girl's cheek and extended an arm to help her up. "We got what we needed. Come on, I'll take you home."

Emily stood up and brushed the leaves off her jacket and jeans. She reached over and picked a leaf out of Alison's hair. "Make sure you make a copy of all the files on the flash drive before you give it away. If A needs it so bad, there must be something important on there," she said.

"I will," Ali told her. She dug around for the flashlight she stuffed in her bag. Suddenly remembering something from earlier, she pretended to turn it on and feigned disappointment. "Crap, it looks like the battery ran out. Didn't you say you brought a flash light?"

"Uh, I think mine is dead too," Em said nervously.

Ali gave her a look that said _I know you never had one in the first place_. "Sooo, what did you really put in your pocket?"

"It's just something I was working on in case we couldn't get the flash drive and tomorrow went horribly wrong. You can have it now, I guess. It's not perfect," she said, reaching in her pocket to bring out the folded sheet of paper.

It was too dark to read it, but Alison could see it was some type of letter. She held it to her chest. "It is perfect. I'll read it when I get home."

"How can you say it's perfect if you don't know what it says?" Emily asked, nudging her shoulder. Ali could tell she was still nervous, but the fear that had been in her expression a few minutes before had been replaced by a genuine, loving smile, and that's all that really mattered.

"I happen to be very intuitive. It's a gift," Ali said.

There was a shuffling in the trees behind them. Probably just an animal, but it gave Alison chills nonetheless. "Let's get out of here," she told the brunette.

* * *

School was surprisingly normal. It was slow and dull, as most Mondays were. The same old nonsensical gossip rang down the halls, and luckily, the rumors that were about Alison had nothing to do with any of her secrets. Half the school probably thought she was secretly dating Noel Kahn. _As if_. That rumor had been circling around for the past year because people apparently couldn't comprehend that the queen bee doesn't always end up with the homecoming king.

Before first period started, she left Ian's flash drive on the desk in the foreign language lab as instructed. By the time she made it back to the lab later in the day to do an online quiz for French, it was gone. She'd already taken Emily's advice and made a copy at home. Her side of the deal was fulfilled. For now, everything was okay.

Ali was yawning by the time she returned home later in the afternoon. She'd been at Aria's for a while, helping her pick out an appropriate outfit for a secret date, and now she felt ready for a nap. She started toward her room but ended up pausing in the kitchen. The windows were open, allowing for rays of sunlight to shine in and reflect off of wine glasses. It smelled like chocolate chip cookies.

"Alison? Is that you?" her mother called from another room. Moments later, she was in the kitchen. "How was your day?"

"Fine," Ali answered. She walked to the oven and grabbed one of the cookies off the cooling tray. "I thought you had to work late this week."

"It was slow at the office today, so I left around lunch. I almost forgot what it felt like to stay home and relax. Why don't you go ask Jason if he wants to go out to eat tonight? We could go to the country club."

"I have plans," Ali said. "I'm going to Emily's house tonight to help her study."

"Okay, then we can talk now instead," he mother began.

Alison automatically tensed up. "Talk about what?" she questioned. The words came out sounding a little too bitchy and defensive.

"Don't use that tone," her mother said with an exasperated sigh. "It's only a conversation. I wanted to know if you put any more thought into going to Georgia this summer."

The younger blonde's muscles relaxed. "Oh, that. I told you I don't want to go. There's nothing to do there unless you're into cow tipping. Why can't we just go to the Cape and leave it at that?"

"I'm disappointed in how selfish you're being. It's not about you. It's about your grandmother, Alison. She's not going to be around forever. I thought I raised you to understand how fragile life is."

"Then she can come to Rosewood," Ali said, flipping her curls over one shoulder and going grab her books. Somehow every conversation with her mom ended up turning uncomfortable. The last thing she needed was to stay home and listen to her mom recount all the funerals she'd dragged Alison to from a young age.

"Where do you think you're going?" her mom asked.

"To Emily's. She'll be home from swim practice soon," Alison responded stiffly. She grabbed her French binder which now had Emily's letter displayed under the plastic cover.

The annoying, shrill ring of the house phone sounded at that moment, effectively distracting her mother. Ali smiled to herself as she snatched her father's car keys and headed for the door.

"Hello?" her mother said into the phone. She put up her hand, signaling her daughter to wait. Ali was prepared to ignore the request until she heard another bit of the conversation.

"Pam, I don't understand. What exactly did my daughter do?" The older woman's eyes were glued to Ali as she spoke.

"Mom, what is she saying?" Ali demanded. Her voice was strong, but her knees felt wobbly.

Jessica DiLaurentis didn't bother answering her daughter's question. She was fully engrossed in the conversation, and she furrowed her brow at whatever was being said on the other end. "You need to calm down," she told Emily's mother in a stern voice. "If what you're saying is true, you can't pin the blame on Alison or anyone else. That's not going to get you anywhere."

Alison stepped closer. She could only hear bits of conversation when Pam Fields raised her voice over the line. Snippets of phrases like _she's the reason_ and _bad influence_ and then a choked-up sounding _it's just SO wrong_. The blonde suddenly had an urge to run far away from the conversation and the inevitable fallout. Run away from this and towards A, whoever it was, and make them pay until every fiber of their being regretted going back on their word.

But she couldn't even make herself move.

Her mom was growing increasingly angry. Her face was turning red and a vein was popping out in her head. Ali was sure the rage was going to be directed towards her until the older woman lost it completely and started going off on Pam Fields.

"She's not the problem here! She's your daughter! What are you going to do? Lock her up in her room? Treat her like a goddamn prisoner? Nothing you do is going to change who she is. Why do people like you insist on trying?" she exclaimed, pounding her fist on the table. "She's only going to resent you, and rightfully so, because you clearly haven't been paying any attention to her. If even I could tell just from having her over at my house, how the _hell_ did you not notice? That speaks volumes about you as a parent and as a person."

There was a flurry of noise from the other end. Ali stared in her mother's direction, mouth hanging open but no words were coming out because nothing made sense anymore. From what she could understand, her mom was defending Emily. It sounded like she already knew she was gay. This bizarre, impassioned reaction was the total opposite of what she would expect coming from one of her family members.

"And I don't want to hear one more word about Alison from out of your mouth," the woman said as a final warning before smashing the end call button. She stared at Alison expectantly. "Is it true? Are you seeing Emily?"

"I…" Alison started. She was still trying to process her mother's reaction to gauge what was safe to admit. "I don't know. Not officially, but we've…had some moments," she finished with a gulp.

Her mother nodded slowly and pressed a hand to her temple. "Don't mention any of this to your father. It won't end well for either of us."

"I have no clue what's even happening right now. Where did that reaction come from? Are you pissed off at Emily's mom or me? Cause I really didn't imagine you being okay with this," Ali said.

"Right now, mostly Pam," the older blonde responded. "She's on a war path. Quite frankly, I would much rather see you with Emily than some guy off the streets who I don't know. She's a good girl with good intentions, but Pam doesn't see it that way. Beliefs are difficult to change."

For the first time in the long, alarming conversation, it fully hit Alison that Pam Fields knew about them. While Ali was safe in her own home, Emily would be the one taking the brunt of her mother's hysteria.

"Oh my God, she's going to destroy Em," Ali said, realization sinking in. "I didn't even think about what would happen to her. I can't leave her there alone!"

Ali glanced at the digital clock on the stove. "She's probably on her way home. I still have time."

"You don't need to get involved. This isn't your fight," her mother told her.

Of course it was her fight. She was directly involved and her mess with A was almost certainly the reason Pam found out. Technically, the agreement was that Ali wouldn't be outed to the whole school in return for the flash drive. Emily wasn't part of the agreement. If Ali hadn't been so wrapped up in the possibility of losing her golden throne at Rosewood High, she might have seen this coming. A must've know this scenario would make her feel equally bad, if not worse.

Ignoring her mother's advice, she headed out the door and started composing a series of frantic texts.

* * *

"You know, in the history of summer and swimming pools, I've never actually seen anyone's hair turn green. I think it's a myth," Hanna told Emily.

The two of them were walking back from Rosewood High. Hanna had to stay after school to do a makeup test, and she ended up coming to Emily's practice when she finished.

The swimmer shook her head in response to Hanna's thoughts. She ran her hand through her own hair that was still slightly damp and smelled of chlorine. "No, it's not a myth. Obviously I don't have to worry about my hair color changing, but there were a few blondes on my team when I was younger who ended up looking like they had green highlights. Wearing a swim cap helps prevent that."

"Why have I never seen it then?" Hanna asked, and Emily shrugged.

"You don't spend as much time in the water, I guess," Emily said.

Hanna rarely went swimming with the rest of the girls. When she did tag along, she covered up in layers and stayed out of the water. It was obvious she was self-conscious. It was dumb really, because Hanna's body size had always been pretty average and she'd lost weight since last summer.

"You should really come swimming with me after school lets out," Emily offered.

"I don't know," Hanna said doubtfully, growing quiet though she'd been chatty all day. Changing the subject, she asked, "So what are you doing later?"

"Ali's coming over. We're supposed to be studying French at some point this week, before finals."

"Hmm," Hanna hummed thoughtfully. "Does studying French involve having another secret movie night without inviting the rest of us?"

"No, I mean studying like with books and vocab cards," Emily said, blushing slightly.

"I don't know what's going on with you two, but you need to be careful, Em. Ali messes with people. She's really good at it, too, especially when she's messing with people who are too trusting," Hanna said.

Emily blinked in surprise. She knew Ali was harsh with Hanna, harsher and meaner than she'd ever acted around her, but she didn't realize the extent of her friend's discontent. "I know she hasn't been the best to you, Han, but she's not a bad person. If you guys have problems, you need to talk it out with her."

Emily's phone started vibrating in her bag. The brunette took it out and started reading through texts from Alison.

 _DON'T GO HOME_

 _Your mom knows. She's really upset._

 _Where are you?_

 _Go to Hanna's or Spencer's, ok? I'll meet you_

At first, Emily couldn't make sense of the words. Her heart dropped when she first read the texts, but she was too in shock, too numb, to truly panic. "I-It's Ali," Emily told Hanna. "We have to go to Spencer's. Her house is closer."

Hanna looked baffled. "What? Why are we going to Spencer's?"

"I'll explain once I know all the details," Emily said, managing to keep her voice surprisingly steady. Her breathing was heavy though, and she had to blink back tears that threatened to form in her eyes. _Her mom knew_. What would she have to face when she got home? Nothing would ever be the same.

She and Hanna rushed over to Spencer's house, pounded on the front door and came face-to-face with the youngest Hastings who looked even more confused than Hanna. "What's going on? Is this a SOS meeting?" Spencer asked.

"You could say that. I just texted Ali. She was headed for the high school, but now she's coming here," Emily sighed. The girls went upstairs and Emily paced on the side of Spencer's bed while the other brunette texted Aria. Hanna stood near the edge of the room with her arms crossed.

Ali got there soon after. She stomped into the room in a panic and then, seeing Emily, walked straight to her and wrapped her arms around her. It felt nice to be in Ali's embrace. Spencer and Hanna were practically gawking at them, but Emily didn't care.

"Are you okay?" Ali asked her, and the concern in her voice almost made Emily's eyes well up with tears again.

Before she could answer, Aria came into the bedroom wearing a nice dress and full makeup, like she was preparing to go out somewhere. "Guys, what's wrong?" she asked.

"Good question," Spencer commented, looking over at Emily and Alison. As if suddenly aware that the others were here, Ali let go of Em and sat on the edge of the bed. Emily mirrored the motion. The two of them shared a glance, silently deciding to go through with telling the others.

Emily's heart started beating fast when she realized she had no idea how to explain or where to start. The scenarios she'd imagined in her head were never this chaotic. The girls were all looking at her expectantly and she had to say something. "There's something you guys should know. My mom is apparently really upset with me right now because…s-she found out…" she trailed off, taking a deep breath. She stared down at her legs, avoiding eye contact with the others.

"I'm gay," she finished with a whisper. She still wasn't used to saying the words out loud, but she couldn't deny any longer that they were true. Admitting it was both a weight off her shoulders and a frightening plunge into uncharted waters. By opening up, she was leaving herself vulnerable.

Alison reached for her hand. The other girls were quietly processing the confession until Hanna said, "I don't know about everyone else, but I already had a feeling. Em, you know we would never judge you for that or anything else. We love you."

Tears slipped down Emily's cheeks, and she wasn't sure if they were from relief or being overwhelmed. Probably both. Either way, there was no doubt in her mind that her friends were the best a girl could ask for.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of," Aria agreed, coming over to hug her, "and we're proud of you for telling us."

Spencer nodded. "I second everything they said. I'm just a little shocked that Hanna picked up on it and I didn't."

Hanna stuck out her tongue at Spencer in response.

"Ali, I'm going to assume you already knew, too. You didn't have much of a reaction," Spencer noted.

"Yeah, I've known for a while," Ali said, and Emily could almost hear the nervousness in her voice.

"Is there anything else we should know?" Hanna asked. Her pointed gaze was directed not at Emily, but at Ali.

Alison's hand was already laying on top of Emily's. Now the blonde interlocked their fingers so the others could see. "Emily's had feelings for me for a long time now, and I recently figured out that they were never one-sided. So here we are," she said, holding up their hands.

Aria's eyes widened. "Wait, seriously? That's like the most adorable secret I've ever heard from Alison. I can't believe I didn't notice!"

Alison visibly blushed at that. "Aria, we're people, not characters in a romance novel. You don't need to gush over it."

"But I want to," Aria insisted.

"You people thought I was crazy when really I knew it all along," Hanna said triumphantly. "I'm totally more smarter than Spencer, don't you think, Em?"

Emily laughed at that. "More observant, definitely."

" _More smarter_ is grammatically incorrect, Hanna," Spencer said, rolling her eyes. "I think I've proven my point."

Ali cleared her throat. "As much as I would love to listen to the rest of this conversation, I really need to talk to Em about everything that happened today. A little space would be nice," she said.

In all the commotion, Emily had almost forgotten about the situation with her mom. The girls ended up in Spencer's backyard, with the exception of Aria, who had to leave for what Emily assumed was a date. Spencer and Hanna stayed on the lawn chairs on the back patio, sipping pink lemonade. Emily and Alison were lying in Spencer's hammock further back in the yard.

Emily texted her mom to tell her that she would be at Spencer's house studying for a few hours. She sent back a short text telling her to come home immediately after she finished her school work. No sign yet of the storm that was sure to come.

According to what Ali had told her earlier, her mother was fuming. It wasn't far from the reaction Emily was expecting. It still hurt, though, knowing that her mother was ashamed of her. For the first time in her life, Emily was a disappointment. If she were alone, she would be crying, but she did her best to hold back the tears for Alison's sake.

"They're staring at us again," Ali said. She was leaning against Emily's shoulder and her eyes were focused on Hanna and Spencer across the yard.

"They're just curious," Emily said. She paused and then added, "Hanna was worried about you messing with me. She's just looking out for me."

"She said that?" Ali asked, frowning.

"It's no big deal. You two probably need to work out some things, though. I can't fix it right now. I'm gonna have enough to deal with," Emily sighed. "I don't know how much longer I can stay here before I have to go home."

"Give it a couple of hours and let your mom cool off," Ali advised. "Just know that I'm here for you. I know I've been too selfish lately. I was so worried about myself that I forgot you had a lot more pressure than me. You've been carrying all of this around with you for years."

Emily felt like there were knots in her chest. "I wish I could talk to my dad. I can't skype him until later because of the time zones. I hope he doesn't hate me too."

"Em, he's not going to hate you. I bet he'll take it the same as the girls did."

Emily nodded, hoping she was right, but she was on the verge of tears again just from thinking about it.

Ali seemed to notice, and she rushed to change the subject. She leaned over to grab something out of her bag that was sitting on the ground, almost flipping over the hammock in the process. It stabilized after a minute and Ali slid Emily's letter out of the front of her French binder.

"I was right, by the way. It is perfect. I love it," she said. The words made Emily's heart beat faster again, but this time in a good way.

Emily could see all the erase marks underneath the final words. She's spent so long writing it, determined to get at least half of the words right without relying on a translator. The little paragraph wasn't very long, but she'd tried her best. Ali straightened out the wrinkles in the stationary again and, after snuggling closer to Emily, started to read it in a perfect French accent.

"Je n'aime pas le français, mais j'aime classe avec vous. Vous êtes magnifique et charmante, et je pense toujours à vous. Toi et seulement toi. Je veux être avec vous, peu importe ce qui arrive. Aimer, Emily," she read aloud, smiling at the brunette when she finished.

"I'm glad you like it," Emily said, mustering a smile. "It doesn't look like much, but it took a while to write. And I mean every word."

Ali leaned closer, pressing her lips against the brunette's, and Emily kissed her back.

"They're staring again," Ali said after they pulled back. She nodded over to Hanna and Spencer, who both looked away as soon as Emily turned in their direction.

"They're just going to have to get used to it," Emily said, stealing another quick kiss.

The girls had taken it even better than expected. As the sun got lower and pink hues lined the sky, Emily realized she couldn't hide from her mother forever. She would have to face it head on, and it would suck for a while, maybe for a long time, but life would go on either way. The girl lying against her was still in danger. Now wasn't the time to throw a pity party and hide away.

No, Emily was determined to come out the other end of this stronger.

* * *

 **A/N: Feel free to use Google translate for that one paragraph. There are a few hints in this chapter to what will come next. I'm starting a new semester at school so please be patient with me.**


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